Monday, January 25, 2010

“Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith”

First of all LONG ENOUGH TITLE? You know what they say, “the longer the title the stupider the writer” or something like that. Sith? Bad! Lame! Makes me think “cist,“ not really dark and sinister. I don't care if it's the actual name, it's lame! REVENGE OF THE SIST! You know... that does sound dark and sinister! 

Let’s see, where to begin.... Ah, I’ll start with saying one sentence that appeared in my mind (and whispered in my ear by funny Stephanie,) “Puttin’ on the Ritz!” Frankenstein’s creature came alive at the ending there. A little too campy. Lucas needs to recall just who his characters are and exactly what they would say let alone feel after undergoing changing over to the Dark Side. One wonders if the Dark Lord Vader would yell like a heart-filled Romeo, “Nooooo!” after hearing about his love’s death. Oh and Padme died because she lost the will to live? That’s highly unlikely since she was pretty well satisfied before she even met Anakin. Second, these people are highly advanced and wouldn’t let someone just pass from child birth let alone being sad to death. The dialog was ATROCOIUS! I couldn’t believe my ears, “Anakin you’re breaking my heart.” Who talks like that? I just had to laugh. Yoda’s backwards talk also became ridiculous after the millionth time. He only spoke backwards five times in “Empire.” I guess over the next 20 years he realizes how unadvantages it is to be so confusing.

I’d like to say that I was bored stiff. They didn’t even put in a good Jar-Jar killing sequence. I thought up the perfect way to kill Jar-Jar Binks, one that I will share with you right now. Picture this; Anakin’s on his way to kill everyone inside the Jedi Temple. (You know, when he goes and kills all the lamely named “younglings.”) Jar-Jar runs up to him and is all, “Ani! Me-sa so worried --” Then BAM! Anakin light sabers his stupid head off! Oh, I’m afraid your head will be quite on the ground when your friends arrive. 

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