Sunday, October 15, 2017

In response to this...

There's an IMDb list of 40 Young Adult novels-turned-movies, ranked by teenagers and it does not speak favorably of said teens.

I wonder if they had to watch all these films before they rated them. Somehow I doubt it, since not even Oscar judges have to watch all the films they judge.

Point being, teenagers are stupid. (I'm kidding. Naturally not all teenagers are stupid... just these.)

Tuesday, October 10, 2017


Hello all you beautiful people in blog land!

It's been too long.

I have kids now. Kids = expensive movies. Going to the movies is CRAZY with kids now. So not only am I way behind on movies, I'm also way behind on slang. Did you see how I wrote "crazy" and not "cray-cray"? Did you see how I wrote "cray-cray" even though people have already shortened it to "cray"? Yeah. I'm so out of it!!!

Which leads me to something I am not out of, and that is my endless supply of Spider-man movies. (YAY!!! Boo. Meh. YAY!!!!) Oh. That was just me reacting to the different movies chronologically. Don't mind me.

"Oh Boonie, whatever do you mean?"

Well, I'll tell ya. Some Spider-man movies suck. I had to go back and read my blog about The Amazing Spider-man II to see how I felt about it, because I forgot... everything about it. But, that didn't stop me from knowing EXACTLY where it fits in...

(Wait for it)

(Do people still say "wait for it"?)

(Totally out of it.)


Ahh yeah. Let's do this.

First we had this upside-down-kissing Tobey dude. The trilogy was directed by the awesome Sam Raimi, who also brought us such classics as The Evil Dead II, Army of Darkness, and Xena Warrior Princess. FINALLY we had a Spider-man movie. This was way over due, folks, for those of you who don't remember life without Spider-man movies. Oh the bleakness! This movie was funny. This movie was awesome.

THEN its sequel came out, and it was even better. I refer to it, lovingly, as Spider-man the Comedy, because I laughed the entire time.

But alas, it could not last. The third movie in the series, the crapquel, as it were, was so awful. Is there a person among you who enjoyed Spider-man III? Show me a person who loved Spider-man III and I will show you a person who is making stuff up.

Then we went two seconds and got a Spider-man re-boot. (We were not to live too long in a world without current Spider-man movies.) This one had the Social Network kid in it. (Not that one.) This one had Emma Stone in it. She's awesome. We love Emma Stone. And I saw it once... maybe twice, 'cause it was dull.

The second one was more so.

Ten seconds later we got another re-boot! Kind of. We got a surprise during a Captain America movie! THEN we got another re-boot. This time we got an MJ who's not MJ. We got a "WHAT THE!?!!?!?!?!" (Which is always fun.) We got BATMAN "returning" (Get it? Because he was in Batman Returns?) as a villain! (We love Michael Keaton!) We got a really funny best friend. (We love the guy in the chair.) We got cameos from Captain America, Iron Man, Happy Hogan, and we also got to see Gwyneth Paltrow in her best role ever. (We're so happy she's not faking English accents anymore. We love you Pepper Potts. [Wrote "Pepper Poots" first. Whoops.])

"Whatever, Boonie. Rate the effing movies already."

Sure. Fine. But I think you guys can guess.

Spider-man III

The Amazing Spider-men (You decide which comes first. I don't care.)

NOT WORST: Spider-man Homecoming


Spider-man II

YAY!!!! Cheers! Open that bottle of Coke! Time to celebrate the winner! Oooh! Let's go watch it now! Only, just don't watch that third one. **shudders**

Thanks for stopping by! See you never! (Because that would be creepy, unless I know you. If I do know you, hi! How's it going? What are you up to? See any good movies lately?)

Sunday, July 3, 2016

Batman vs Superman

If you thoughtMan of Steel started slow, then prepare yourself. Deep breaths. In fact, I'm not sure this movie ever got going at all. It's a preparatory movie, getting us ready for individual movies like the up coming Wonder Woman.

And yeah, oh course Wonder Woman was the most interesting part of this movie, and way undervalued.

What got me about this movie was its lack of character. Batman had zero personality. Superman was only interesting because Henry Cavil is. Alfred was interesting only because Jeremy Irons is. There was little imagination. Little creativity. Leaves a blogger little to write.

Every Batman movie worth its salt includes a lovely flashback to the death of Thomas and Martha Wayne, and it always includes Martha's pearls breaking. But this movie over does it and it's ridiculous. You know they're proud of it because they keep showing it. Ugjfjdjtn.

Lex Luthor was channeling the Joker, so much so that when he was acting particularly Jokery my 3 year old son pointed at him and yelled, "Joker!"

Was I the only one not afraid of Doomsday? And like Superman would really kill Batman in order to save his mom. He let his dad die to save his secret identity!

I appreciate someone finally pointed out that Bruce and Clark's moms have the same name. Like Martha's the only name a mom can have. Come on!

Friday, March 4, 2016

The Good Dinosaur

Sometimes I like movies because my 3-year-old likes them, so I'm going to try to remember what it's like to think of a movie objectively, or based upon whether or not I liked it.

My biggest complaint about "The Good Dinosaur" is that oh my gosh it's slow. The second is like unto it, two, maybe three, interesting characters and that's it. Arlo the dinosaur is great. Spot the human is the greatest thing ever. The triceratops or "the collector" is so creepy that I can't tell if I love him or if he gives me anxiety. I quote him the most though, so that says something.
(Yeah, that's right. I go up to my husband while he's on the computer and I stare at him for a while then I say, "Hello. We've been watching you. We thought you would die but then you didn't." And he tries to pretend like I'm funny and cute, but we all know the truth, I, like this character, am terribly creepy.)

I love that Arlo has panic attacks. Finally a cartoon character understands! I love the metaphor about the storm and fear, and the message about being brave. But there are sad parts. I don't know if it's the gut-wrenching sob fest that is "Inside Out," but it has me sobbing. (Then again... I'm six months pregnant, and just about anything makes me cry even without the help from whack hormones.)

It's not a bad movie. It's just a slow movie, and my toddler absolutely adores it, so who am I to judge?

I'd watch it for Spot alone.

Oh, one more thing, it's like several different movies. "Annie." "Twilight." "The Lion King." "Homeward Bound." What else? I'm sure you've got some.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Shawn the Sheep

Totally cute movie. My two yo loves it. I love the mad dog who keeps staring at people.


I don't usually like prequels, but I like this.


This was a well-made awful movie. What I mean is, it was beautiful, and horrible. The script read like a coherent mess. I've seen a lot of poorly written theater lately, and it was like that, except less slop-tastic.

Many of the scenes lasted about three lines too long. It was a little painful. I'd think, "Scene over" but it's continue with unnecessary dialog.

Oh for the love of Pete, somebody put Hook out of his misery! He's auditioning so hard for Indiana Jones; just tell him he doesn't get the part already! I didn't believe a word he said the entire movie.

Another aspect of amateur writing was apparent in the "witty" dialog that aught to have been cut, but wasn't cut because it was far too "witty." Are there no editors in Hollywood today?

And what's with the Moulin Rouging going on? Leave Teen Spirit alone! It doesn't make any sense why a bunch of pirates would be singing it! This isn't Moulin Rouge! You are not Bazz Luhrmann!

It had a lot going on and it was fun, but....