Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Mission Impossible IV: Ghost Protocol

Unlike Mission Impossible II, and Mission Impossible III, (which are two of the five worst movies ever. [The other three are Batman and Robin, Men in Black II, and Avatar,) Mission Impossible IV: Ghost Protocol, besides being a tad dull, is not a bad film. It doesn't follow the Rule of Fours, (which is that when a trilogy ads a fourth movie, it is the worst thing ever... usually. [See Batman and Robin.])

Ethan Hunt, (Tom Cruise,) teams up with a bunch of people and tries to save the world. A lot of stuff goes wrong, and requires our cast to improvise and be awesome. There's a lot of pointless excitement, but I can appreciate that it's at least exciting.

The beginning scene with Sawyer was the best part.

I liked the cast. Simon Pegg is awesome.

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Adventures of TinTin

If you watch "30 Rock," then you might be familiar with what's known as "The Uncanny Valley." It's when a computer animated movie goes from cute and animated to too-life-like and creepy. On the first shot I thought, "Okay. That dude looks a little weird, but what are you gonna do?" Then they showed the obviously computer animated dog, Snowy, and my brain went crazy trying to figure out why the dog would be animated while the people weren't. THEN I realized the people WERE animated and thought about "30 Rock."

But apart from the confusing first few seconds, the movie was really cute. Although, I can't speak for the ending because I fell asleep. It was late LATE Sunday night/Monday morning, and I hadn't had my usual 3 hour Sunday nap that day. I'm thinking of watching the rest on Youtube... someday.

It was PG, but action packed, with a lot of gun shooting. It reminded me a bit of Indiana Jones, if Indiana dressed like a nerd and if Willie was a dog.... Willie should have been a dog! The dog did not talk, by the way. A lot of people had asked me that... or maybe the same person asked me that a couple of times, Estiphone.

The greatest Bond (right) was in it, along with Simon Pegg, who plays identical cops.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Hunger Games Quiz

The magic of having an unsyndicated blog, is that I can post about whatever the heck I want. So, here, for my enjoyment, is a Hunger Games quiz. Facebook keeps trying to get me to click on a link and take a Hunger Games quiz to "test my Hunger Games knowledge." As if such an obvious feat required testing! Then I thought, But this might be fun! Then I thought, But I don't want to register for that site before taking the quiz. Then I thought, Do it yourself! Then I thought, Okay. Then I came here and started rambling, and now you're caught up.

The Hunger Games Quiz...

Know, what... on second thought, I don't want to do this.

So, instead, here's a dancing old couple at Disneyland.


Nobody told me this movie had a lot to do with historic French director, George Melieswho directed 1904's An Impossible Voyage and created special effects we still use today. (An Impossible Voyage was also the premise for "The Smashing Pumpkins" award winning video Tonight, Tonight.)

The movie was adorable, and perfect for families, and starred the boy who will play Ender Wiggin in Ender's Game. I know a lot of you are thinking, "What the heck is Ender's Game? Who cares?" But you will be singing a different tune soon. Go read the book before the preview comes out, quick!

Hugo reminds us that we each have a purpose, and in order to be happy we need to do what we are meant to do, and that we will have an easier time knowing our purpose if we know something about our ancestors. Yet the movie also encourages us to dream and to hope, and even the villain is awarded a happy ending.

Tower Heist

How do you cram so many "A list" actors into such a boring film?

The best part of the movie was Eddie Murphy, as unnecessary as his character was; he was the best part from the beginning when he only said a few words before Ben Stiller walked past him on the street.

This movie thinks it's funny. Should we tell it the truth, or do you think the movie would cry? I'm thinking its feelings are rather delicate. A crying, boring, delicate movie - that's what this movie is.

Instead, watch the movies it wishes it was. I'm sure I don't need to provide a list.

And talk about slow beginnings! Holy crap.

Ben Stiller manages an apartment complex called... The Tower. Like the genius he is, he invests all his employee's pensions, except he trusts one of the tenants to do the investing. Wuh-oh! Turns out this tenant is a crook. So Ben Stiller and friends decide to rob his penthouse and find their pensions. Don't look at me like that; I told you it was boring!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Having the "Titanic" Discussion

Parents of the world, I hate to break it to you, but if you aren't already well aware of the obvious, I guess I'll have to tell you....

There will come a time in your child's life, when they might start asking questions about the movie Titanic. Are you going to be prepared for that day?

Will you be prepared when your twelve year old daughter asks to rent it, and claims that all her friends have seen it?

Will you know what to say when your sixteen year old son expresses concern about just why exactly Rose threw the Heart of the Ocean into the sea? How is he to know why this happened if he can't see the film, is what he'll wonder.

It's okay if you're not ready for these questions, and teenage impulses. We'll get through the love for stupid movies together... no matter how many times they re-release them.