Monday, November 25, 2013

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Clarice (in black) is played by The Hunger Games' Glimmer.
It's been so long since I've read these books that I seeing the movie was like seeing it for the first time.

While I read the books, I thought they were like Harry Potter, but the movie was SO like Harry Potter that I wanted to... say something about it.

The crazy hell taxi with annoying navigators was too much like the Night Bus.

Then there are the thousands of other reasons that I don't feel like getting into right now. Thank goodness this isn't an English paper and I don't have to... you know, type stuff.

Wow, writing blogs is not what I should be doing when I'm this tired and a little dehydrate

But I like these Percy Jackson movies and books. They're better acted than Harry Potter, and OMG, did I already blog about this movie?

Okay. That's it. I'm gonna go to sleep.

(Okay, I didn't already blog about this movie. I'm not going THAT crazy, but I am going to stop blogging for the night.)

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Catching Fire, or Hunger Games II: Still Hungry, or Hungry Hungry Katniss

I love Peeta's "I'm too hot for you, silly President" expression.
Well, I loved it. And I kind of loved seeing it with the "non-believers" two days after it came out, because I'd hear this, "OH MY GOSH!" coming from the right side of the theater when something unexpected happened. I had JUST re-re-read the book, so NOTHING SURPRISED ME. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Except, I still had little happy surprises. SPOILER: When Plutarch Heavensbee leaves President Snow right after Katniss and Johanna take the wire down to the beach, I know he's not coming back, and I LOVED KNOWING
! MUAHAHAHA! But, I loved that little added part.

I'm glad they gave these movies some money because the casting is DEAD ON. The actors look EXACTLY like how I pictured them in the books, (well, almost.) But, unlike so many books-gone-movies, the acting actually is good.

Well, okay, SOME of the Harry Potter actors are good, and... one of the Twilight actors... yeah, that's about right.

I loved being able to see the end, or the almost end, because that part of the book is very fussy because Katniss isn't entirely coherent and it leaves you thinking, "Uh... what just happened? Is Johanna crazy?"

Well, she IS, but you know what I mean.

You should go see it. It doesn't matter if you read the book before or after you see it. You should do both, but in whatever order you choose. I'm a little surprised you've read THIS, but you haven't read Catching Fire. Seriously people.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Confessions of a Midnight Premier Line Cop

Arwen says, "If you wanted to sit together,
you should have arrived earlier. I got here 5 hours early
to get THESE seats, and I'm not moving a single chair over."
Now that I have a nine-month old baby, I don't go to midnight premiers. My life has gotten way less stressful.

I used to go to just about ALL OF THEM.

I used to arrive an hour and five minutes early, (to beat out all those who arrive an hour early.) Wait, no, that only applies for opening night when there's still a line, but not a massive one. For a MIDNIGHT PREMIER I would arrive HOURS early, or select a friend or beloved family member to do the task. I would bring chairs and designate someone to take them back to the car once they started letting in. I yell at cutters, "THE BACK OF THE LINE IS BACK THERE! WE SEE YOU, YES YOU, IN THE BLUE SHIRT! THE BACK OF THE LINE IS BACK THERE; AROUND THE CORNER, AND DOWN THE STREET!" I would run like a dork on fire once the inevitable free-for-all started.

Ron Weasley says, "Don't get popcorn right
away; get your seats first, THEN
take turns getting snacks and going
to the bathroom."
So, here's what I learned.

Never expect anyone in charge to know what they're doing. You might think, these have been going on since Episode 1, surely they know what they're doing by now. They don't! It's different 19 year olds this time around, because the people who've been there for longer are higher up on the pay-scale and get better shifts, IE: they have midnight premiers off. And these new kids running the midnight shifts are MAD WITH POWER.

Once we waited forever and got into the theater and theater workers who got off early had already claimed their seats! Luckily for them, they were not in the seats I wanted. Otherwise there would have been hell to pay.

Once there were two lines for 3D and one line for 2D. No one knew. I went and asked, and was able to move up in line in front of a couple hundred people.

Bella and Edward will KILL YOU if you
clap too hard once the movie starts.
We know you're excited; we're excited too,
but we want to hear the freaking movie.
Once I arrived late, right before the doors opened to let us in, and my sister and I cut in line. People far behind us started yelling, "THEY CUT! THEY CUT!" But we didn't turn around. They weren't about to get out of line to confront us, and without turning around to look at them, nobody could tell who they were yelling about. Turning around equals fault. We got the seats we wanted. It was a big theater, so they probably did too.

Once, at a strange IMAX theater, out of town, I was first in line. When the usher took my ticket and said, "Theater five." I began to panic. "WHERE'S THEATER FIVE!?!?!?!" Luckily the people behind us in line were kind to lead the way and let me back in front. This kindness is not to be expected!

Once there was a marathon that led to a midnight premier. Most of my group could not get the day off work to wait in line. Only our 60+ year old friend was able to wait in line. She was first in line. When the theater opened their doors and started letting people in, she was pushed aside and hurried past and almost the entire line got in before her. "SHAME ON YOU!" My sister and I lectured the crowd after our arrival, and my sister scolded the management as well. The free-for-all has GOT to end! What's the point of standing in line forever if people can cut in line once the doors open?
Katniss says, "I don't care if your phone rings and you
silence it quickly afterwards. But if you answer it and start
talking, I'm going to skin you alive.

Which brings me to my next point,


I didn't see Harry Potter 7.1 the night it came out, or even the weekend came out. The next day I was told I wasn't a "believer." They may have been right, after all, book 7 sucked, but I don't think believers should feel pressured into missing sleep when they can see it the next day just as easily.

What am I saying? There's nothing like seeing it with a big, excited crowd. The only reason I went and saw those stupid Episodes 2 and 3 was for the fun of the crowd! I'd be doing it right now if I wasn't CRAZY for sleep. Speaking of which, good-night.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Pacific Rim

I was told this was the greatest movie ever. I think what my friend meant to have said was, "This is the greatest movie ever... for a seven year old boy."

It was predictable, weird, and the makers don't understand nuclear physics. It's a fun movie, but so are Transformers, Godzilla, and the Voltron and Big-O cartoons.

The movie doesn't have a lot for women. Now, one might argue that neither does Braveheart, or Gladiator, but those movies had humor, romance, AND action. This movie pretty much just has action and special affects.

Go see it if you like giant monsters and giant robots, and hate good dialog, good acting, good directing, and good movies. OH BURN!

Now, I try to give credit to a movie when it accomplishes what it sets out to do, or is a good movie for what it is. But this movie needed to be funnier, needed to have stronger character development and more interesting characters, and needed to take itself a lot less seriously.

Grown Ups 2

You know I'm a sucker for Adam Sandler movies, but I know they're a bit fart-eater. That's why I was surprised and un-surprised by this movie.

I was surprised because parts were very funny, and not just, "Oh, that's funny" -funny, but "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" -funny.

But I was un-surprised by the fart-eater humor, the crass and crude, the ridiculous, (I did mention it was an Adam Sandler movie, right?)

Like the first Grown Ups, the movie doesn't have a lot of plot, so... again I'm not surprised.

And the crass humor isn't really THAT disturbing as much as it is obnoxious.

All in all, I'm glad we Redboxed it, and I'm glad we didn't see it in theaters.

Oh, and for you Young Adult novel fans, the movie had both Twilight's Jacob (left,) AND The Hunger Games's Cato (above,) in it. Regretfully, they didn't duke it out. But if they did, who do you think would win?

Monday, November 11, 2013

Thor: The Dark World

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, although it had too much Portman in it for my tastes... and not "good" Portman... except... I'm not sure what "'good' Portman" is. Hmm.
But I don't want to spend this whole post complaining about Natalie Portman. What I'd rather do is point out how great Sif (Jaimie Alexander) is. I'm not saying she's the greatest thing ever, but people are talking about her playing Wonder Woman, and that would okay!

So, here's the movie, Thor, for some crazy reason, misses Jane, (bad Portman,) and she misses Thor. She searches for Thor and instead finds Venom, or, um, aether, which uses her as its host. Meanwhile, this dark elf guy wants the aether and can sense where it is. Thor brings her to Asgard, and the elf dude attacks, killing someone dear to Thor. Thor enlists the help of Loki, and defies the wishes of his father, Odin the King, and together, with Jane, they go to stop Mr. Elf Guy, or, Malekith, (Christopher Eccleston,) rather.
So, the movie is 3 parts Thor I, 1 part Spider-Man III, 1 part Dr. Who.

I liked it.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game

The problem with many books-turned-movies is that they lose a big chunk of what made the books great. Relationships, characters, sequences un-necessary to the plot, etc.

The book Ender's Game is mostly built up of Battle School battles, rivalries, and friendships. However this movie was built mostly upon Harrison Ford.

While that's not necessarily a bad thing... any movie can be built upon Harrison Ford. But that's not why we love Ender's Game.

Despite all this, I still love it. I love it for what it is; it is a fun movie.