Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Easy A

Emma Stone is adorable, and the cast is a lot of fun. I enjoyed the enjoyableness of the movie, but it was a little too much about sex, and a little too plot-lacking to be a fully enjoyable movie.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Introducing the Worst Thing Ever

Nick Jonas as Marius in Les Miserables.

I blog here, because it's available on DVD AND Blue-ray (in order to view the suckness in high-def!)

What is that red goo seeping from your face? Oh, that's your ears bleeding. Don't get me wrong, I can see how people may think, "What is Boonie talking about? This rocks!" But listen to some Marius who can actually hit the low notes, and get back to me.

No, Valjean! Don't "let him live"! Let him parish! Leave him! Leave him!!!

How dwarfed by his fellow cast-mates must Nick Jonas be. Perhaps if Jean Valjean is played by Garth Brooks, and Javert is played by Conan O'Brien, (to be fair, I don't know if Conan can sing,) with Enjolras played by Ewan McGreggor (okay, I would pay money to see that,) with Gweneth Paltrow as Fantine, Katy Perry as Eponine, and Lady Gaga as Cosette, Justin Bieber as Gavroche, and the Clintons as the Thenardiers... yep, perhaps if this is the cast, the world makes sense.

The Last Legion

Today a teacher uttered the phrase, "The Last Legion is a great movie." And I nearly fainted from surprise. I hardly remember this movie, but it was far from great.

Now that I think about it, said teacher probably just has a crush on Mr. Darcy. Welp, I'm sorry Colin Firth, but the fact you were awesome in Pride and Prejudice, and The Importance of Being Earnest, does not therefor mean that you are enough to keep this horrid movie afloat. Tis pity.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dan in Real Life

This movie ended and my sister, Stephanie, turned to me and said, "You like this movie?" I LOVE this movie! I'll tell you why.

First off, this movie is refreshingly clean, (apart from one short conversation in the laundry room.)

Secondly, Steve Carell is, as I've mentioned before, awesome.

Third, this movie has a kind of easy-going, funny but not obnoxious, pleasantness about it that's very relaxing.

My mother has movies she likes and movies that are pleasant and enjoyable enough to fall asleep to over and over, night after night. I see Dan in Real Life as the utmost of pleasant and enjoyable films. Cute, funny, charming.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Captain EO

If you were born before 1985, you remember Captain EO as the terrible, terrible, gosh-awful 3D film that plagued Disneyland's Tomorrow Land in the 1980's.

However, due to Michael Jackson's death, and a 30 year retro gap, the new generation has taken it upon themselves to believe that Captain EO is awesome. I actually saw a CSUN male student with a Captain EO shirt on just yesterday. If he wore that shirt to college in the 80's or 90's, he would have had his face flattened.

If you didn't know, or couldn't guess, George Lucas produced this crap-festival, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. (The spider lady is Anjelica Houston.)

The Man is sure glad you kids finally like his regurgitated crap-salad. (Man, I'm in a mean mood today.)

Hate is a Strong Word

Although, "hate" is not a strong enough word to describe how much I HATE Scott Pilgrim vs the World. 

This particular item of revulsion tries just way too hard. I mean I really hate this movie. It's been a while since I've hated a movie this hard. I LITERALLY tried to choke myself with my Sobe bottle during this film. I would rather die than have to sit through it again. Although, I watched the full thing, when I could have turned it off. Strange.

Some lines were funny.

Appeals to the group of people who don't know Captain EO sucks. This group of people of whom I speak, don't seem to be into what's good or bad, but simply what they think is awesome. And what they think is awesome, is decided by a bunch of old people who are telling them what they should think, (like MTV).

I apologize to the lovers of Scott Pilgrim. I could be wrong, or you could fall into a category of innocent people who just plain enjoyed the film. To those of you who loved Captain EO, this next blog's for you.

Friday, February 11, 2011

In recent news....

Bambi is being released on Blue Ray....

**crickets chirping**

Oh yeah. Nobody cares.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

"The Brothers Bloom"

Rachel Weisz, Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo.

Problem Number 1. Brody was cast as Ruffalo's younger brother. Even if he is younger, it doesn't appear that way, and it's kind of annoying to continually remind yourself, "No. He's younger."

I'm sick of listing problems. The ending was... lame and jumbled. The entire thing should have been like the charming first five minutes. (Complete with Pushing Up Daisies feel.)

Brody and Ruffalo are orphaned brothers who start conning people. They start conning ca-razy Weisz, and Brody falls in love with her.

Kinda cute, kinda boring. I say don't even bother with it.