Friday, December 31, 2010

Gulliver's Travels (2010)

If you find yourself constantly asking, "Where Roy?" He right here! He's in Gulliver's Travels, and he (Christopher O'Dowd) has a large role! Much larger than the role he had, hilarious as it was, in Dinner for Schmucks.

Few people have seen this movie. So it's a good thing I have a talent for not believing anyone's opinions about movies, because I loved this one!

Gulliver's Travels was very fulfilling. You want humor? You got humor! You want a comedy style that's strictly Jack Black? You've got it! You want your friends from Brittan's IT Crowd on large American screens? You got that too! I'm also usually fond of Amanda Peet and Emily Blunt.

Family Guy Star Wars

Crass and not funny. The bit about the couch was hilarious, but the rest of it was tasteless, extremely sexist, crap. I'd rather be eaten by a dianoga than watch this pitiful excuse for a comedy again.

I once overheard a woman tell her innocent cartoon watching children, "I don't want you to watch this show because it's stupid." I thought she was a tad controlling. But, apart from the crudeness and disgusting disturbingness, I wouldn't let my children watch this because of the blinding idiocracy. Yes, it's not intended for children, which leaves me only to pity the poor souls for whom it IS intended.

Go watch Robot Chicken Star Wars.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Disaster Formerly Known as Batman and Robin

Speaking of ripping to shreds.... Wait a minute, have I reviewed this horrible movie already? Meh, let's have a go.

Sometimes I watch a movie and the urge to make a vow overcomes me, and I say to myself, "I will NEVER watch this movie ever again." This movie is one such.

 I have no problem with any of the actors, but the writers and director should be punched in throat. Who do they think they are!? Making a horrible movie like that.

Their first mistake was made for them in Batman Forever. NEVER add Robin. Just don't do it! But they made things worse by adding the dreaded Batgirl. *shiver*

Also, Mr. Freeze is the worst Batman villain to date. Yes, worse than The Penguin, Mad Hatter, and Zeus combined.

The plot was ridiculous. The characters were moronic. The dialog was worse than Peirce Bronson-Bond films.

This, right here, is the worst movie ever made, and I enjoy just about anything Batman related.

Thank goodness for Christopher Nolan.

Pros: This movie included one of the greatest Smashing Pumpkins songs of all time. But we still won't forgive it.

An Idea

Hey 6 followers, Boon is now accepting requests. Got a movie you want ripped to shreds? Allow me to accommodate.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Blind Side

This is probably the greatest sports movie ever made. Often times sport movies tend to get real cheese-ball, with long 1/2 time speeches, angry wives who are mad at their coach husbands, and an asinine amount of whatever sport they're playing. But this movie doesn't put up with that crap!

Michael Oher is a ward of the state going from friend's house to friend's house, until Sandra Bullock and family take him under their roof. They care for him, set him up at the same private school their daughter goes to, and sign him up for football. Obstacles like the NCAA, and old friends rear their little heads, leaving us with a very satisfying ending. As with The Social Network, this movie is mostly about human relationships, and that's why, as apposed to other sports movies that are about how awesome football is, this movie is so fantastic.

Sandra Bullock is amazing! Her hard-as-nails character is refreshingly brave, honest, good natured, and direct.

Quinton Aaron's Michael Oher was brilliant. He was so lovable I could flatten him out and wear him like a snuggie.

Monday, December 27, 2010

True Grit (2010)

This movie had its ups and downs. It was very real, and the dialog was very witty. However, the relationship between Cogburn and Mattie Ross was lacking. There was no growth, change, or arc. Yes, Cogburn saved her life at the end, but I felt he would have done so in the beginning as well.

The film was interesting, but I wouldn't say it was fantastic.

Oh. In case you were wondering, this is the movie Carl and I saw for Christmas.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Tron: Legacy (2010)

The one liners weren't as ridiculous as the one liners in Mission Impossible III, but they weren't nearly as creative as the writers thought they were.

The fight scenes SHOULD have been amazing, but they weren't. This is probably due to the intense lack of character development. I cared about Quorra, but only because Olivia Wilde was fantastic, and extraordinarily interesting.

Jeff Bridges was great as Kevin Flynn/Clu. (Is it just me or does he age in every movie he's in?)

I did not like our lead, Garrett Hedlund (Patroclus [Brad Pitt's cousin] in Troy,) who played Sam Flynn. What a dry, boring actor. Not bad, but not good. He couldn't compare to his co-stars.

I'm glad they included our friend Michael Sheen, (also known as that guy that always plays Tony Blair, The White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, Aro Volturi in Twilight, and, my personal favorite, Wesley Snipes on 30 Rock.)

Overall, this movie was fun, but a bit dull. It's definitely your stereotypical 3D movie- not exactly plot driven cinema, but visually interesting.

2010 The Boon Awards!

Best Picture Nominees-
The Social Network
Despicable Me
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Dinner for Schmucks
The Social Network

Worst Picture Nominees-
The Losers
Leap Year
When in Rome
Valentine's Day

Most Visually Stunning Film Nominees-
Tron: Legacy
The Last Airbender
Alice in Wonderland
How to Train Your Dragon
The Last Airbender

Best Actress Nominees-
Helena Bonham Carter - The Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland
Olivia Wilde - Quorra in Tron: Legacy
Cate Blanchett - Maid Marion in Robin Hood
Helena Bonham Carter

Best Actor Nominees-
Jesse Eisenberg - Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network
Steve Carell - Date Night
Jesse Eisenberg

The Candidates-

The Social Network
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Tron: Legacy
Despicable Me
Knight and Day
The Other Guys
Toy Story 3
Grown Ups
Shrek Forever After
How to Train Your Dragon
The Last Airbender
The A Team
Alice in Wonderland
Robin Hood
Iron Man 2
Jonah Hex
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Clash of the Titans
Dinner for Schmucks
The Losers
Leap Year
Date Night
The Karate Kid
Valentine's Day
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightening Thief 
The Bounty Hunter
When in Rome
Diary of a Wimpy Kid

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas Day Movie

A few years ago we, as a family, decided that we're old and have nothing better to do on Christmas than to go see an afternoon movie before dinner but after opening gifts.

Let's look at our options for this year!

127 Hours - Watching James Franco cut off his own arm just doesn't say "Merry Christmas" Ya know?
The Fighter - What? Like I've heard of this movie? Puh-leese. Next.
How Do You Know - Again, I haven't heard of this one.
Love and Other Drugs - Geez. What a title! Haven't I seen this one before?
The Social Network - Now, there's an idea!
Fair Game - Never heard of it.
The Tourist - Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie... I don't know why, but something tells me this movie's gonna blow.
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - This one will probably win out since I think everyone has already seen...
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 - and...
Tangled - Yep.
Tron: Legacy - I spoke too soon! This one will probably win.
Burlesque - Anyone ever notice that burlesque rhymes with grotesk?
Black Swan - I want to see this movie! Then this morning I was lying in bed thinking about it and... I couldn't put my finger on WHY I wanted to see this movie. Yeah, I LOVE ballet, but... I don't think Natalie Portman is a good actress... or anywhere near one. She does look like a ballerina though.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Gentlemen Broncos

 I loved Napoleon Dynamite and I really liked Nacho Libre, but Gentlemen Broncos was disgusting, unoriginal, humorless and bland. I loved the actors in it, but this movie was a POC.

I know it looks like it might be funny in a Robot Unicorn Attack kind of way, but it's not. Don't even Netflix this movie. Just pretend that you haven't even heard about it, 'cause, honestly, up until a few weeks ago... you hadn't.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Disney Ages

We're on a princess tangent, get over it.

I think it's interesting to look at the ages of different Disney women. I'm weird. I know.

Some of these we're just gonna have to guess at.

This is the only Disney movie based on reality. However, real Pocahontas was, what? 12? I don't think Disney Pocahontas is 12. Her real age is up for grabs. Any guesses?

"I'm 16 years old. I'm not a child anymore."
Yep, she's 16.

The law was that she marry a prince by her 16th birthday. This puts Jasmine at age 15. Yikes. 

Meg is based on a Greek Myth, obviously. (However, in the Greek Myth we learn that Hercules goes nuts and kills her. Oh, if only they included that part in the  Disney movie.) Anyway, any guesses of Meg's age?

They never say Belle's age. Your guess is as good as mine... well, maybe not AS good as mine. 


Snow White- 
I want to say 11, but I don't think that's right.

I actually have no idea how old Cinderella is.

Victor Hugo wrote the novel, and I believe she is 15 or so in the novel. But... in the Disney film, there is no way to tell if they're keeping true to the novel or not.

I'm assuming she's old enough to run her own business.
Old enough to kick some butt.

I don't know how old she is. But she's so cute!

So, here's where it gets interesting, you get to vote on how old you think the age-less ones are. Ready? Go!

Do you think it's strange that we don't know how old ANY of the princes are?

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Disney Heroines Wearing Blue

In my Tangled post I mention that every heroine wears a blue dress. This isn't true for Rapunzel, Jane, Nala, Meg, Pocahontas, Maid Marian, and... I don't know. Is that it?

Here, let me show you-

Ariel wears 2 blue gowns:

Aurora's dress is sometimes blue and sometimes pink:
Belle wears her blue dress for most of the movie. You can't fulfill your dreams in that gold thing!

Cinderella's ball gown is such a light shade it often looks white:
Esmeralda's bodice is kind of blue... shut up. We're counting it.

Jasmin wears pants, but they're blue:
 Mulan kicks hand in her blue dress:

Snow White's dress is mostly yellow, but you gotta admit there's a lot of blue:
Tiana's dress is a whole heck of a lot like Cinderella's... but that might be the point.
Remember Atlantis? I don't. But whatever her name is, she's wearing blue.
Alice wears blue the whole time, as does her friend Wendy (who are both played by Kathryn Beaumont.) {Ever realize how alike Alice and Belle dress?}

Now, I haven't seen The Black Cauldron in a long time, but look at how blue her dress is! (Well, look at how blue the top of her dress is... it's the same story with Esmeralda and Snow White.)

The question is, who's blue dress is your favorite?



This movie is cute!

The best part was the horse, Maximus, (not pictured.)

I liked the villain... whose name I can't remember because they only said it once. The rest of the time they called her "Mother" or "Old Woman." I really liked her hair. Her song was dreadful.

The songs made me want to pull my hair out... ironic, huh?

Mandy Moore's voice really bugs, especially when compared to past Disney heroines.

Also, this is the first Disney princess that doesn't wear blue.

Jeffrey Tambor played the Big Nosed Thug. Awesome.

SPOILER: Rapunzel's hair turns brown when cut. This cracks me up. Apparently the worst fate in the world is to have short brown hair. Hahahahahaha!

Waaaaaay better than Princess and the Frog, but lacks the amazing-ness of past Disney classics. You know how you watch Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin, or Hunchback and think, "Wow. This is amazing!"? You didn't get that with this movie. But it was very, very, very, very, VERY cute. The songs were just embarrassing.