Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Frozen lyrics and why they're just awful

You know those lyricists who must sleep with a thesaurus under their pillows, because they're inventive, their rhymes are miraculous, and they turn their phrases to fit perfectly with the music? Well, the Frozen lyricists are not these people.

You know I love Frozen! But I have zero tolerance for lazy lyrics. The lines that big me most, and scream, "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!" are lines such as the one Elsa sings in "Thr First Time in Forever (Reprise.)" she sings, "There's so much fear. You're not safe here." Come on guys. Take a little bit more time and figure out a better way of saying that so Elsa can say things someone would actually say. People don't say, "There's a lot of fear being experienced right now... by me." We're much less passive. We say, "I'm scared." "I'm afraid." "I'm going to slip into a panic-induced coma; don't mind me." If they thought just for a few seconds longer, perhaps they could have come up with something like, "I'll die of fear." Or if that wouldn't work, maybe, "Beware of fear." Or "I'm plagued by fear." And that's just off the top of my head.

This sloppiness happens a couple of times throughout the movie.

On a related note, does anyone else see this movie as a big apology for their legacy of films? They've made billions off of movies that have promoted love at first sight, and even changing other people, (like in Beauty and the Beast, although, to be fair, Belle didn't fall for the Beast until after he changed, so the movie never did promote girls trying to change their boyfriends/husbands, as so many claim.)

So that bugs. But I love the movie.

Often people ask, "What's so great zag out Frozen? Why does everyone love it?" 1. It's easy. It's not depressing. (Have you ever watched Beauty and the Beast while you were clinically depressed? It's not a happy movie! {Although beautiful!}) 2. The music doesn't suck. (You know who you are, Tangled.) 3. O.L.A.F.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014


I read the book because a 14 year old said it was her favorite book...

so I wasn't too surprised to not love it. The writing is so awful that at times I wanted to chuck it across the room for being drab. (I guess I've been spoiled by Patrick Rothfuss.) It is SO much like Matched that it's embarrassing,  except Allie Condie is a better writer.

But that's the book, the movie is different... but not much. Movies do not differ much from books the way they used to. If you saw About a Boy and read About a Boy then you can witness that these are almost two completely different stories. Divergent's movie felt more like a different draft of the book that was neither better nor worse.

I liked the actors. Peter, Will and Al looked too much alike, especially for how little they were mentioned.

But who cares? The point is this movie is boring, and the book was boring, and I don't know why I keep wasting my time with it.

I'll probably go see the sequel.