Thursday, June 27, 2013

Man of Steel

The beginning was cheesy, had cheese-ball dialog, and looked like something that crawled its way out of Episode I. Eep!

But don't go running for the hills yet, because once Krypton burns, the movie gets a lot better.

I didn't like Zod. Not once did he demand anyone kneel. I also didn't care for the actor playing Zod.

They made a lot of changes to the Superman cannon, but The Dark Knight Rises strays from the Batman cannon, and nobody cares.

I liked it.

It did have a LOT of shaky cam. It was kind of ridiculous.


Jor El is all like, "Dude Zod. You suck." And Zod is like, "No. You suck." Then Jor El goes and steals this skull and sends Kal El, (Superman,) away with it to Earth, 'cause, guess what? Krypton is about to explode. And half an hour later, it finally does. Then Clark Kent, (Superman,) is all like, "Oh I'm going to save all these people and keep changing my ID as I do so." And his flashbacks are all like, "I'm Clark Kent and I'm gonna save your butt! Oh I should probably stop doing that because then you'll know I'm totally awesome, and we can't have that." Then he goes to this cave and finds a spaceship and, guess what, Lois Lane is there. She finds out this dude has special powers, and he finds out where he comes from. Then she tracks him down and finds out he's Clark Kent, the way a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist would, right? Then Clar
k figures out he can fly, and such. Then Zod is like, "Gimme!" And Clark is like, "Okay, I'll go with you." And Lois is like, "Yeah. I'll go too. Why not? I've got nothing else going on." Then the rest of the movie happens and you'll just have to see it to believe it!

Keep your eyes peeled for a glimps of Chunky Girl!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Beautiful Creatures

I enjoyed many things about this movie. I enjoyed that it took place in the South and therefore they all had Southern accents. (It's a stupid thing to love, but what are you gonna do?) I loved the actors. I love that it had Emma Thompson in it.

However, the directing was off. The script skipped over a lot of things that were probably better explained in the book that I didn't read.

Synopsis: A troubled girl moves into a podunk town nobody's ever heard of, and meets a young man she's been having dreams of, and vice-versa. Everyone in town thinks she's satanic, but she's more like Glinda, a teenaged, goth, Glinda. The problem is, when Glinda reaches her (approaching) sixteenth birthday, she'll probably turn evil, thanks to a family curse. And you'll never guess what she has to do in order to break the curse!

As far as a movie-based-off-a-young-adult-novel goes, it was fun. Was it the best movie ever? No. Was it even the best movie-based-off-a-young-adult-novel? Of course not. Was it worth watching? Sure!

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Great Gatsby

As far as the story goes, I am underwhelmed. This was one of the books I was supposed to read in high school and didn't. In high school I learned how to not-read books and get C's. In college I learned how to not read books and get A's.

So, I thought I'd check out the movie. Many of the books I didn't read in high school, made for pretty good movies, like Of Mice and Men, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. However, despite Baz LuhrThe Great Gatsby. I liked his character, but I did not care for the incredible, mind-numbing weakness of Daisy Buchanan. People call Hemingway a sexist, but I'd take a million Brett Ashley's over one Daisy Buchanan, despite Lady Ashley's personal weaknesses.
mann's awesomeness, I just simply didn't care for the story of

But that's besides the point, and we'll just go ahead and leave Hemingway out of it. We'll also leave  F. Scott Fitzgerald alone for now and focus on the film.

I remember in my English class a lot of talk about the green light at the end of Buchanan's dock, and the "eyes of God" and such. Perhaps the symbolism in the book is mind-blowing, or perhaps it's because I'm tired of books trying to impress me with obvious symbolism.

I loved DiCaprio as Gatsby. The acting was generally terrific, and I enjoyed the writing and the dialog. But I felt like I had seen the movie before. Nothing was new or exciting, despite how ground-breaking the book might have been during its time. I'm sure it wasn't cliche, back then, to have the narrator of the book end up in a sanatorium. Also, because it was told in the 1st person, a lot of situations were created in order for the narrator to know certain things. These situations were obvious and annoying.

I'd probably watch the movie again, or even say that I liked it, but it's not fantastic, and it doesn't inspire me to open a book. (Now you're all thinking I never read. I read! I'm just picky about it.)

Friday, June 21, 2013

Disney Animated Movies and their Lack of Moms

I think only Dumbo, Bambi, Wendy, and Aurora were lucky enough to have moms, (and Anastasia and Drizella,of course.) But let's find out.

Now, keep in mind, Step-mother's don't count because they are ALWAYS EVIL!

Snow White - no mom
Does anyone else in the movie have a mom? NO.

Pinocchio - no mom
Does anyone else in the movie have a mom? No. Which might be why everyone in that movie was so horrible!

Dumbo - Dumbo had a mom. She got arrested and went to jail, thanks to a major anger management issue. Then cue the SADDEST song in Disney history. I get panic attacks just thinking about it, although it's gorgeous. ("Baby Mine.")

Bambi - Bambi had a mother, and we all know how THAT turned out.

Cinderella - Only Anastasia and Drizella had a mom.

Alice in Wonderland - She MIGHT have a mom. But no one else does.

Peter Pan - Wendy and her brothers have a mom, and that's it... which is kind of the point.

Lady and the Tramp - the baby has a mother,and Lady becomes a mother. Oh, spoiler alert!

Sleeping Beauty - Aurora pretty much has four mothers.

101 Dalmatians - 1 mom. She's a dog.

The Sword in the Stone - void of mothers

The Jungle Book - no parents to speak of!The Aristocats - they're cats.

Robin Hood - There's a bunny mom. She says things like, "Stop! My baby!" Then the baby goes, "Mama! Mama! Wait for me!" And the audience goes, "OH MY HOLY HECK! LITTLE JOHN! GET THAT BABY!"

The Rescuers - Penny finally gets - SPOILER - adopted. So, at the end she gets a mom.

The Black Cauldron - Ghergi doesn't have a mom, and neither does anyone else.

Oliver and Company - no

The Little Mermaid - no

Rescuers Down Under - no

Beauty and the Beast - Chip has a mom.

Aladdin - no

The Lion King - YES! Simba has a mom!!!!!!

Pocahontas - NO

A Goofy Movie - NO

Toy Story - yes. Andy has a mom. Shoot, even Sid has a mom.

James and the Giant Peach - no

The Hunchback of Notre Dame - she dies. Frollo kills her at the beginning. (I'm not going to warn you about spoilers if it happens in the first three seconds!) Although, in the BOOK, these gypsies abandon their baby hunchback, and Frollo, out of the kindness of his heart, takes him in. Meanwhile, the gypsies steal a baby, (Esmeralda,) from a woman whose only crime was being nice. They don't tell you that in the movies.

Hercules - Hera is... wait for it... Hercules's mom!

Mulan - Mulan totally has a mom!

A Bug's Life - Yes. The queen has two kids!

Tarzan - Yes... kind of. However, Jane doesn't have a mom.

The Emperor's New Groove - there is a mom in it.

Monsters Inc - no

Lilo and Stitch - no

Finding Nemo - she bites the bullet in the beginning

The Incredibles - yes

Cars - no

Enchanted - no

Up - no

Rapunzel - no

So, as you see, hardly any Disney movies have moms. So sad.

Now back to doing useful stuff!

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Super 8

Originally I didn't see this movie because I don't do horror films, (if you haven't noticed.) Actually, originally I thought this movie was about a cheap hotel chain. It's not THAT Super 8! It's titled after the film. These Goonie-iesk kids see a monster that's attacking a town via super 8 film. Apparently that's the only way to see the monster, but that's not exactly true. So, I'm a little confused about why it's named that.

Okay, I'm actually confused about why the movie is a movie at all. I had heard that this was a good movie... it's slow... and the slowness is lasting. It's never scary.

I do like the characters and the relationships, and who doesn't love films set in the 70's? But... this one gets a huge "meh" for me, my friends. A "meh" this big:


Sorry. That's about the largest "meh" I could make on Blogger.