Sunday, November 28, 2010

"Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs"

Take Kung Fu Panda, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Skyline, and Independence Day and put them into a Tracy Jordan Meat Machine and the result is not only a tasty sandwich that doesn't need bread, but it's really, really, really, really, really, really cute. Netflix this movie right now. It's on Instant Cue. (How do you think I watched it?)

Starring- Bill Hader, Anna Farris (who does a surprisingly lovable character who thinks she has to dumb down her smarts to get even nerdy guys to like her,) James Caan, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, Benjamin Bratt, Neil Patrick Harris, Al Roker, Andy Samberg, and other people I've never heard of.

Synopsis: Nerd is a nerd. People make fun of Nerd and love Idiot. Nerd invents a machine that makes the sky rain food. Everyone loves Nerd. Cute Weather Girl who is also a nerd, starts to fall for Nerd. However, Nerd's dad is like, "Your food's too big. You should come work with me at my sucky shop." But Nerd doesn't! Then... well, you're just gonna have to go find out.

SPOILER! Seconds into the movie, I knew his mom was going to die. Another shameless 30 Rock reference: Prepare for back-door bragging- It's no fun to watch movies when you're a film genius, because you know everything that's about to happen and when.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


I saw this movie the day after going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium in Northern California.

The visuals are incredible. However, near the end of the movie the narrator started preaching about the environment.

I'll do my part to keep the oceans clean if it means I don't have to hear about it anymore.

I enjoyed the movie, (even though I say I hate movies that have no plots.) However, I kept wishing this movie was Fantasia 2000.

The Hot Chick

This is less of a movie and more of a senseless experiment in torture.

My least favorite part was the husband who threatened to put his wife in an asylum when she suspected something was wrong with her daughter and her daughter's friend. It's not funny, just horrible.

And that goes for the entire movie.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

This movie takes us from the beginning of the book through until (SPOILER) Dobby's death/Voldemort's attainment of the Elder Wand.

If you're thinking, "Not enough happens in 'Book 7' to warrant 2 full movies," you're right. If all of Gone with the Wind can fit into one movie, than surely the last installment of a children's book can. At times the movie dragged, as did the book. You know the times I mean!

In the first full scene, (after we see glimpses of the lives of Harry, Hermione, and Ron,) we witness a Death Eater meeting lead by our favorite nose-lacking, snake talking, dream roaming villain. This is a great scene. The different emotions seem to counteract our parties actions, which brings a level of despair and panic into the first few moments of the movie. The villains are afraid of their own power, and of their leader. They begrudgingly follow Voldemort, and are lead by their fear.

The individual scenes are beautiful and brilliant. The movie, as a whole, is incomplete, (which, I guess, is the point.) The movie is lacking, but very well done. They have finally shed the "kid movie" element which has stumped the brilliance of the first 6 films, (especially 1-3.)

Daniel Radcliff (Harry) and Emma Watson (Hermione) seem to finally be catching up to Rupert Grint's (Ron) natural acting talents.

I don't like shakey-cam. How I wish we'd get rid of it as a society.

And one more thing, just because I didn't go to the midnight premiere, and just because I know a dumb book when I read it, doesn't mean I'm not a "true fan." I might not be a "true fan" of Book 7, but I'm a darn true fan of 1-6 (minus 5 of course.) So, don't you forget it!

Friday, November 12, 2010


This movie should have been called, "Kill Me," because that's what I kept screaming during the movie. (Just kidding.)

(Movie guy voice) She was a helpless blonde. He was a pathetic hit-man. Together they were boring, stupid, and clueless, but really pretty.

This is the entire movie: A couple has a lot of friends. Throughout the movie these friends try and kill the couple, one by one. We get it! Stop acting like we're surprised!

Occasionally I laughed, or thought, "This part is nice." But this movie was the D+ version of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. (And I didn't even really like Mr. and Mrs. Smith.)


If Cloverfield is a D-, then Skyline is the C+ version. If these dorks had tweaked their script a little here and there, added some character growth, then we'd have a real movie on our hands.

As it is though... the movie ends and I laugh. I say to my husband, "It's like a four year old wrote it."

Best line:
"I hate L.A." Yes, yes. We all do.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Harry Potter and the Book that Sucked: Part 1

So, I love Harry Potter. I love books 1-4 and 6. 5 was boring, 7 was awful. AWFUL! Why you ask? Because it was a cop-out horrible ending, and a boring book... a boring book so boring that it was more boring than book 5. Plus, JK Rowling, way to kill off ALL of my favorite characters! (SPOILER- Serius, [albeit, he died in book 5... darn that book 5.] Fred Weasley, [the funnier of the Weasley twins.] and Bellatrix Lestrange, [WHO, by the way, I was thinking should be cast as Helena Bonham-Carter and then WAS.])

So, I'm curious to see how crap-tastic this movie is. Will it be as bad as the book? It's not like any of these movies are better than their book counterparts....

The good thing is is that I've only read this book once, and don't remember it entirely well, so the little things that happen will surprise me.

Cross fingers! Please, don't suck!

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

To be fair, I didn't make it through the end of this movie. I gave it a really good shot though. Even though my husband kept saying, "This movie sucks!" I still kept watching. But, eventually, I had to leap off the couch and turn the stupid thing off.

Yeah, it's Heath Ledger's last film, yeah, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and what's-his-face, (you know, that actor that killed his short career by doing Alexander. Colin Ferrel!) all filled in for Heath, but all this filling-in business makes me think, what was Heath Ledger doing in this movie in the first place? Gosh! It's awful!

You know me. A movie must have a plot. And if it doesn't have a plot, it should at least have the decency to be SHORT!

Friday, November 5, 2010


My faith in movies has been restored.

Clean enough for kids. Awesome enough for adults.