Saturday, July 23, 2011

Wedding Movies!!

In honor of my 2 Year Wedding Anniversary, (yay me!) I've decided to do a post about wedding movies. Love 'em or hate 'em, we're stuck with them.

The Wedding Planner
2001. Starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Lopez. If you like picking out colored M&Ms or watching other people do it, you might like this movie. Jennifer Lopez is a... wait for it... wedding planner. She falls in love with Matthew McConaughey then finds out she's planning his wedding to Bridgette Wilson's (Mortal Kombat, Billy Madison,) character. And not to ruin the ending, but it turns out they were all dead the whole time.... If I remember correctly.

The Wedding Singer
1998. Speaking of Billy Madison, our next movie is one of the best wedding movies ever. The title is very similar to The Wedding Planner, but it stars Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, and is hilarious. It's also set in the 80's, which is also hilarious. I'm not going to tell you anything else about this movie because you've either seen or, or you are going to go out right now and Netflix it and I don't want to ruin it for you. Stop reading this dumb blog and go do it! Go!

27 Dresses
2008. Starring Katherine Heigle, Cyclops, and The Watchmen's Malin Akerman. I completely enjoy this movie. Like most rom-com movies there's a scene where they take reality and hurl it overboard, (the part where they're dancing in the bar to "Benny and the Jets," comes to mind,) but it's a fun enough movie. I enjoy Katherine Heigle's acting style, and Cyclops is great. It's a little similar to The Wedding Planner in the sense that Katherine Heigle is "planning" a wedding for the guy she likes, only this time the guy she likes isn't marrying Bridgette Wilson, he's marrying "the sister." And she doesn't end up with the guy's whose wedding she was planning, and they weren't dead the whole time.

The Bachelor
1999. Starring Chris O'Donnell and Renee Zellweger. Chris O'Donnell needs to get married so he can have a lot of money. Instead of watching this movie, shove your hand into the garbage disposal and have a friend of yours turn it on and laugh at you. It's virtually the same thing.

Corpse Bride
2005. Starring two of my favorite actors, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, but then again, what Tim Burton movie isn't starring them? This is a claymation musical about a murdered bride who just wants to be loved. Who can't relate? It's not Danny Elfman's (who also plays Bonejangles) best music, but what are you gonna do? (For a picture I had to use this one I saw on It's just too awesome.)

My Best Friend's Wedding
1997. Starring Rupert Everett... and some other people. Oh alright! It's starring Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz and Dermont Mulroney. Julia Roberts wants to marry Dermont Mulroney but he's marrying Cameron Diaz and it's very sad. This rom-com's overboard-scene is also a musical moment, (so ridiculous!) like unto the overboard moment in 27 Dresses. The ending was a lot like Father of the Bride, in the way that the bride and groom leave, and the person the movie was about was not one of those people.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding
2002. Starring Nia Vardalos and John Corbett. Everyone thinks this movie perfectly represents their family, and that's the point. This movie didn't do as well as it did because only one person in the world related to it. Now, I don't have an aunt who used to have her twin inside her throat, and I'm not Greek, but I very much relate to this movie... oh, I'm also not related to any member of N*SYNC, thank goodness.

Bride Wars
2009. Save your money. I know you like Anne Hathaway and get mad at me for referring to her as "the dreaded Anne Hathaway," but I HAVE to! And I know you like Kate Hudson, but this movie's terrible. It's not anything like Star Wars, which is just misleading. And the funniest parts in the previews were taken out. So don't watch the previews and think, "Oh, it looks so funny. Boon must be mistaken." Boon is NOT mistaken! What? Fine, go see it. Then you'll believe me, and maybe next time you'll listen!

Father of the Bride
Like many movies lately, there are two of these, and not like Evil Dead 1 and Evil Dead 2, (which were the exact same movie, only done better the second time,) but more like "hey let's remake this old movie." You know what I'm talking about.
The original Father of the Bride (1950) starred Elizabeth Taylor. I've seen it, but I only remember the part where they're looking at all the gifts on display in the living room or wherever. I thought that was a weird tradition back in the day.
The "new" one came out in 1995. It stars Steve Martin and the dreaded Diane Keaton. It also helped usher in one of the most horrible and wretched wedding ideas - wearing tennis shoes under your dress. (It doesn't help you bring a sense of your style into your wedding. It's just tacky.) Okay, I'll be nice... as long as I don't have to watch this movie ever again. Is it fun to see a movie where Steve Martin complains about money the whole time? No. But it is fun to see a movie where Tom Hanks and Shelley Long complain about money the whole time.

2005 was just a year for wedding movies.
People must just love wedding movies with Jennifer Lopez in them.
This movie ushered in the horrible, horrible phrase, "monster-in-law." Even if your mother-in-law is less than pleasant, (unlike mine,) it is no excuse to call her a monster. She raised the man you married! Show some respect! So, if you want to see a movie where the soundtrack could have just been a bunch of "meows" then go ahead and watch it. But watch it knowing that at the end Jennifer Lopez gets married anyway. AH HAHA! I ruined the ending for ya! Now you can't see it 'cause I ruined it! WHOAHAHAHAHAHA! You'll thank me later.

1 comment:

  1. huh. of all these, I only liked corpse bride, AND I think he had way more fun with the dead girl. at least, I'd've stayed in dead/song and dance land with the fun one and not come back to an obviously grim and boring reality with the lame one. I should really watch this again soon.