Monday, November 18, 2013

Confessions of a Midnight Premier Line Cop

Arwen says, "If you wanted to sit together,
you should have arrived earlier. I got here 5 hours early
to get THESE seats, and I'm not moving a single chair over."
Now that I have a nine-month old baby, I don't go to midnight premiers. My life has gotten way less stressful.

I used to go to just about ALL OF THEM.

I used to arrive an hour and five minutes early, (to beat out all those who arrive an hour early.) Wait, no, that only applies for opening night when there's still a line, but not a massive one. For a MIDNIGHT PREMIER I would arrive HOURS early, or select a friend or beloved family member to do the task. I would bring chairs and designate someone to take them back to the car once they started letting in. I yell at cutters, "THE BACK OF THE LINE IS BACK THERE! WE SEE YOU, YES YOU, IN THE BLUE SHIRT! THE BACK OF THE LINE IS BACK THERE; AROUND THE CORNER, AND DOWN THE STREET!" I would run like a dork on fire once the inevitable free-for-all started.

Ron Weasley says, "Don't get popcorn right
away; get your seats first, THEN
take turns getting snacks and going
to the bathroom."
So, here's what I learned.

Never expect anyone in charge to know what they're doing. You might think, these have been going on since Episode 1, surely they know what they're doing by now. They don't! It's different 19 year olds this time around, because the people who've been there for longer are higher up on the pay-scale and get better shifts, IE: they have midnight premiers off. And these new kids running the midnight shifts are MAD WITH POWER.

Once we waited forever and got into the theater and theater workers who got off early had already claimed their seats! Luckily for them, they were not in the seats I wanted. Otherwise there would have been hell to pay.

Once there were two lines for 3D and one line for 2D. No one knew. I went and asked, and was able to move up in line in front of a couple hundred people.

Bella and Edward will KILL YOU if you
clap too hard once the movie starts.
We know you're excited; we're excited too,
but we want to hear the freaking movie.
Once I arrived late, right before the doors opened to let us in, and my sister and I cut in line. People far behind us started yelling, "THEY CUT! THEY CUT!" But we didn't turn around. They weren't about to get out of line to confront us, and without turning around to look at them, nobody could tell who they were yelling about. Turning around equals fault. We got the seats we wanted. It was a big theater, so they probably did too.

Once, at a strange IMAX theater, out of town, I was first in line. When the usher took my ticket and said, "Theater five." I began to panic. "WHERE'S THEATER FIVE!?!?!?!" Luckily the people behind us in line were kind to lead the way and let me back in front. This kindness is not to be expected!

Once there was a marathon that led to a midnight premier. Most of my group could not get the day off work to wait in line. Only our 60+ year old friend was able to wait in line. She was first in line. When the theater opened their doors and started letting people in, she was pushed aside and hurried past and almost the entire line got in before her. "SHAME ON YOU!" My sister and I lectured the crowd after our arrival, and my sister scolded the management as well. The free-for-all has GOT to end! What's the point of standing in line forever if people can cut in line once the doors open?
Katniss says, "I don't care if your phone rings and you
silence it quickly afterwards. But if you answer it and start
talking, I'm going to skin you alive.

Which brings me to my next point,


I didn't see Harry Potter 7.1 the night it came out, or even the weekend came out. The next day I was told I wasn't a "believer." They may have been right, after all, book 7 sucked, but I don't think believers should feel pressured into missing sleep when they can see it the next day just as easily.

What am I saying? There's nothing like seeing it with a big, excited crowd. The only reason I went and saw those stupid Episodes 2 and 3 was for the fun of the crowd! I'd be doing it right now if I wasn't CRAZY for sleep. Speaking of which, good-night.

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