Written by children for children.
The awesome thing about Disney, is that they usually write clean, but they don't write FOR children. Meanwhile, shows like Ice Age, Mirror Mirror and Batman and Robin seem to be exclusively for children, and not to be enjoyed by adults.
I have to hand it to Armie Hammer (who played Prince Alcott and reminded me of Brendan Fraser,) he really gave the "puppy love" scene all he had, despite its ridiculousness. So instead of rolling my eyes and wanted to throw the red-boxed movie across the room, I was reminded of the goofy scenes from Xena. I can handle a little bit of goof.
But Julia Roberts is not scary, (which I think is on purpose, because the scariest parts were drawn over with happy faces [literally].) nor do I believe anything she says. I don't even think she's really vain, just kind of... there.
It was also predictable. But then again, what isn't?
This movie has no plot, and no story line. If I were to tell you what this movie was about I would be like, "Uhhhhh. Oh okay, Queeny doesn't like Girlie, so Queeny tries to kill Girlie via beast in the woods. It doesn't work and Girlie meets up with 7 dudes. Princey likes Girlie. Girlie and Queeny like Princey. Girlie wins." So, yeah. Void of story, void of plot, void of interest... yet, somehow... still a bit entertaining. It was definitely not anywhere near being the worst movie ever, even though I wanted it to be. I'm starting to feel sorry for Batman and Robin and their years and years of undefeated championship in that area.
At least Lily Collins isn't horribly obnoxious, and can actually act better than that boring Mia Wasikowska what played Alice in 2010's Alice in Wonderland. I mean holy cow!
Warning: turn it off the SECOND it's over. It gets all kinds of Bollywood during the closing credits!