Come on, don't tell me I'm the only one who forces herself to pick favorites! Fine. I'm the only one. Well, sometimes it's easy to pick a favorite. Watch -
Ahem. My favorite Pirate of the Caribbean movie is Curse of the Black Pearl. Tada! Easy breezy!
BUT, it's not always so easy to pick a LEAST favorite. That, my friends, is today's purpose: to pick a least favorite Pirate of the Caribbean movie.
(Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat - right/below) says, "I had a lot of media coverage, but I was hardly in this movie! Suckers!")
Now, narrowing the choices down is, at least, very simple. We know that Curse of the Black Pearl is not our least favorite, because it is our favorite. And On Stranger Tides, while dull in places, is also not our least favorite. It's just not. (Sometimes you just know.) Which leaves us with the dreaded Dead Man's Chest and At World's End. *Shudder*
Hmm... this is hard. Let's make a list of pros and cons... or maybe just cons.
Dead Man's Chest (or, Pirates of the Caribbean II.)
Too much Davy Jones business! ACK! Grody!
Tooooooo pretentious! From the very beginning the movie has us rolling our eyes and exclaiming, "OH come on!" Oh boo hoo! The writing is so bad, SO BAD! It makes me cry... no seriously, I wept.
Stop talking about the rum being gone. Stop talking about the effing sea turtles. Stop talking about EVERY funny part in the first one and make a new joke. Try that!
Prons, er, Pros -
It's inventive at times. It's entertaining. It has interesting characters like the disheveled Commodore Norrington. Yet all this business between Elizabeth and Jack is just... well, dumb. Uck, let's move on.
At World's End
20 minute scene of Jack in "Davy Jones's Locker." Wake me when it's over! (Or let me sleep, either one.)
The movie ends and I think, "What happened during that film? I honestly can't recall." (Yes, I really do say "recall.") All the Calipso business is ridiculous, not to mention all that other business. These movies have far too much going on!
Oh forget it.
In short, I hate both these dumb movies, but I insist on having a hierarchy! So... I'm going to pick At World's End as my least favorite. I hate the ending so much, SO MUCH!
I invite you to pick your least favorite Pirate of the Caribbean movie.
Here's the part where I apologize for not watching better movies, and for bringing Pirates of the Caribbean up so often. Also, if this post inspires you to watch the movies again, I'm very, very sorry.
(OH! And for those of you who wonder, that is Johnny Depp making those "Eh, ah, erg," noises in Lego Pirates of the Caribbean video game.)