Saturday, May 21, 2011

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

We all know that Pirates 2 and 3 were horrible. (Right? Tell me we can all agree on this, people.) This one's better than 2 and 3, but not better than 1. And this one's a little dull. At first I thought it was dull because I've played the movie via Pirates of the Caribbean Legos on the PS3, but my husband, who hasn't played the game, was bored too. He almost fell asleep in fact, and we saw a matinee!

You know how sequels take some random hilarious event or line in an earlier movie and make it mean something? For example, remember when Jack's about to hang at the end of the first one and they're reading his crimes and they say, "Impersonating a clergy." And Jack gets a grin on his face, "Oh yeah." Well, this movie draws upon his impersonating a clergy crime. Can't something just be funny? Leave it alone!!!!

I'm fond of Geoffrey Rush, but I'm sick to death of Barbosa. I don't know why... I think it's because his skin looks like it's peeling off and his fingernails freak me out. He's awesome though. One of the most interesting things about the movie. But this movie drags.

Here's another complaint for ya, you know how in the first one Jack was always some how in charge of the situation, and it was all over the place and fantastic? In this one he is never in control of anything. Which is just kind of... not the point. Plus, in this one he's finally the protagonist, where in the first 3 movies the protagonist was Will, which means Jack didn't use to have to be predictable, and now he does.

Remember Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Well, this is the same movie, except instead of Nazis we have the British Navy and Blackbeard. And instead of Sean Connery, we have Penelope Cruz (Angelica.) Throw in the Spanish, a few man-eating mermaids, and some religious dude, and you're good to go.

I have a few questions. First, the Spanish find the fountain of youth just to destroy it? Really? Really? Second, Jack Sparrow saves Angelica's life then leaves her on a deserted island for some strange reason.... She wasn't a threat to him. She didn't do anything to him... I mean, what's his motivation here? And at the end when Syrena grabs Philip and swims off... where the heck does she take him? I thought she was gonna grab the goblets and save his life, but.... I have a theory about where she takes him, and it goes "she ate him."

Maybe I would have liked it better if I saw it in 3D....

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