Sunday, March 3, 2013

2012 Two Word Reviews

The Hunger Games
Violently delightful

Mirror Mirror
Nearly enjoyable

The Avengers
Good blockbuster

Dark Shadows
Quasi-entertaining dribble

What to Expect When You're Expecting
Okie dokie

Men in Black III
Beats 2

Moonrise Kingdom
snore fest

Snow White and the Huntsman
Sloppy sauce

Brave
aww cute

The Amazing Spider-Man
Repeat movie!

The Dark Knight Rises
Beautiful (I'm only using one word for this one. I'm saving the other word to use to describe "Taken II.")

Total Recall
Poor repeat

2016
Hmmm interesting

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Fabulous. Fantastic.


Hotel Transylvania
OMG Snore!

Taken II
Take me home

Wreck it Ralph
Not worthwhile

Skyfall
Yes please!

Lincoln
Surprisingly upbeat

Breaking Dawn Part II
Super fun

The Hobbit
Delightful. Beautiful.

Jack Reacher
No please

Les Miserables
Beautiful. Depressing!

The Boon Awards 2012

Who the heck cares about the Oscars when there are The Boon Awards?!

Best re-released movie:

Nominees:
Beauty and the Beast

Raiders of the Lost Arc
Finding Nemo
Monsters Inc.


Winner:
Beauty and the Beast

Best Vampire Movie:

Nominees:
Dark Shadows
Hotel Transylvania
Breaking Dawn II

Winner:
Breaking Dawn II

Best Super-Hero Movie:

Nominees:
The Avengers
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Dark Knight Rises

Winner:
The Dark Knight Rises

The Best Snow-White Movie:

Nominees:
Snow White and the Huntsman
Mirror Mirror

Winner: Snow White and the Huntsman (although this movie isn't necessarily the best, Jer.)

Best Book a Movie Was Based on:

Nominees:
The Hobbit
Breaking Dawn 
The Hunger Games
What to Expect When You're Expecting
Les Miserables

Winner:
Les Miserables

Best Actress:

Nominees:
Sally Field in Lincoln
Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games
Anne Hathaway in The Dark Knight Rises
Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables
Helena Bonham Carter in Les Miserables

Winner:
Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables (I know! I'm as surprised as you are!)

Best Actor:


Nominees:
Christian Bale in The Dark Knight Rises
Robert Downy Jr. in The Avengers
Mark Ruffalo in The Avengers
Daniel Day Lewis in Lincoln
Daniel Craig in Skyfall
Billy Burke in Breaking Dawn II
Stanley Tucci in The Hunger Games

Winner:
I don't care.

Best Movie:

The Dark Knight Rises


Contending Movies (AKA: Movies I've seen this year):
Beauty and the Beast (only available to win "Best Re-released Movie")
Titanic (only available to win "Best Re-released Movie" - if it were nominated!)
Raiders of the Lost Arc (only available to win "Best Re-released Movie")
Finding Nemo (only available to win "Best Re-released Movie")
ET (only available to win "Best Re-released Movie" - except I haven't seen it.)
Monsters Inc. (only available to win "Best Re-released Movie")
The Hunger Games
Mirror Mirror
The Avengers
Dark Shadows
What to Expect When You're Expecting
Men in Black III
Moonrise Kingdom
Snow White and the Huntsman
Brave
The Amazing Spider-Man
The Dark Knight Rises
Total Recall
2016
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Hotel Transylvania
Taken II
Wreck it Ralph
Skyfall
Lincoln
Breaking Dawn Part II
The Hobbit
Jack Reacher
Les Miserables

Why Cruella De Vil Sucks

There was some question as to why I posted in my last blog that I did not like Cruella De Vil. I have ample reason, and I would like to share these reasons with you, my friends.

REASONS WHY WE HATE CRUELLE DE VIL

1. Her name is cheesy.

2. Her arch nemeses are a bunch of puppies. Ooooh, terrifying!

3. She's motivated by vanity, and not even a Ratcliffe kind of vanity that would further her career or position in life, just a teenage kind of vanity where she wants to look good. This makes her motives lamer than just about every other Disney villain.

4. When you come down to it, she's really not even THAT evil. Lots of people kill animals for their coats and skins. She's just evil because the animals she wants to kill are adorable. If the movie was 101 Cows, everyone would be on her side.

5. She smokes and smoking is the worst! The worst, Jer!

6. Her name is cheesy.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Disney Villains Who Fall and Die

If you haven't noticed, most animated Disney villains die via falling. This works as an easy way to rid the movie of its antagonist, without dirtying the hands of the protagonist... but it happens so often!

We're on to you, Disney!

I'll show you. Let's go through each animated Disney film, (or at least the major ones,) and count the villains that die by falling.

1.Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs:
The Evil Queen dies by falling down a cliff and having a bolder land on top of her.

Pinnoccio:
Monstro and other villains don't die. Weird.

Fantasia:
N/A

Dumbo:
N/A

Bambi:
Again, I don't remember there being a villain besides hunters, and did they die? I somehow doubt all the hunters in the world died at the end of Bambi.

Song of the South:
Unlike you, I've seen this banned-in-the-US movie. However, I believe the bear and fox live.

The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad:
The villains are quite victorious in these movies. No villains die, and certainly not by falling.

Cinderella:
The Stepmother lives. Weak!

Alice in Wonderland:
Just about everybody in this movie is a villain, and none of them die.

Peter Pan:
We might assume that Captain Hook FALLS and is chased then eaten by the crocodile, but we have no proof that he does, in fact, die. Oh well. We'll call this one a close-call!

Lady and the Tramp:
The villain in this movie is the baby sitter and her horrible cats! None of them die, but a rat gets it.

2. Sleeping Beauty:
Prince Phillip throws a sword into Maleficent THEN she falls and dies. I very nearly count this one, since she probably would have lived a little bit longer had it not been for the falling. I think it was the fall that did it.

101 Dalmatians:
Cruella de Vil (my least favorite Disney villain,) doesn't die, but is mocked via song, which might be considered, by some, a fate worse than death... although probably not by many.

The Sword in the Stone:
The villains just bow to Arthur at the end....

The Jungle Book:
The main villain just runs away.... Hm, he's probably the only villain that runs away. How cowardly!

The Aristocats:
Edgar the butler did it! He FALLS into a trunk and is shipped to Timbuktu... that's not quite death.

Robin Hood:
If Prince John dies, he does so by burning. Yikes.

The Rescuers:
We might assume that Madame Medusa will eventually FALL off the boat's smoke stack and be eaten by her crocodiles, but, again, we're not certain this will happen.

The Fox and the Hound:
Isn't society the villain in this one?

The Black Cauldron:
The Horned King is consumed by the cauldron. Hmph.

3. The Great Mouse Detective:
Ratigan FALLS off a clock to his death. Yay!!!

Oliver and Company:
Sykes crashes into a train and FALLS into the Hudson River. It's close, my friends; it's close.

The Little Mermaid:
Ursula is stabbed through the middle by a boat. Woah. Go, Eric.

4. The Rescuers Down Under:
McLeach falls down a waterfall! Score another one for falling!

5. Beauty and the Beast:
Gaston falls off the castle. Woooooo hoo!

Aladdin:
Jafar lives.

The Lion King:
Scar is eaten by hyaenas.

A Goofy Movie:
Nobody dies in A Goofy Movie! Come on!

Pocahontas:
Ratcliffe lives.

Toy Story:
Sid is scared and, ah, he runs away. That's two!

6. The Hunchback of Notre Dame:
Frollo FALLS off the cathedral.

7. Hercules:
Hades FALLS into the River Styx. He doesn't die, but I'm counting it.

Mulan:
Shan Yu dies by FALLING off a roof and being blown up by fireworks. We're not counting it.

A Bug's Life:
Hopper is eaten by a bird.

8. Tarzan:
Clayton dies by FALLING! He gets all twisted up and ends up all hanged. That's a shame.

Fantasia 2000:
N/A

Toy Story 2:
Prospector ends up with an over-excited little girl.

Dinosaur:
I'm not even going to fain interest in this movie.

The Emperor's New Groove:
There's a butt-load of falling at the end, but the evil kitty survives.

Atlantis:
Rourke's downfall is propellers. Shame.

Monster's Inc:
No dying.

Lilo and Stitch:
No dying.

Treasure Planet:
Some pirates fall into lava and die... but Silver lives. Too bad.

Finding Nemo:
The little girl doesn't die. Sorry.

The Incredibles:
Propellers take another life!

Cars:
Is there a villain in Cars? Don't they just drive around the entire time?

9. Enchanted:
We're counting this movie as animated. Get over it.
Narissa FALLS to her death from atop a building.

Ratatouille:
Oh who remembers!

Wall-E:
Auto is disabled.

The Princess and the Frog:
He doesn't fall.

10. Up
Muntz FALLS off the blimp.

11. Tangled:
She FALLS out the window, but she probably would have died anyway. I'm counting it.

Toy Story 3:
Lotso gets attached to the front of a semi.

Wreck it Ralph:
Turbo is killed by a bug.

Brave:
The evil bear doesn't fall.

Okay, so it may not be MOST, but it's a lot, and I'm sick of it! Well, I'm not really sick of it, I just notice it.

TV Time

With 30 Rock and The Office calling it quits, I've decided that now's the time for the world to know which TV shows are Boonie's...

ALL TIME FAVORITES!

Grab hold of your loved ones because we are going for a ride!

In no particular order, these are my top 20 favorite TV shows. Ladies and gentlemen, I, for one, am excited to find out what they are!

1. 30 Rock (above)
2. The Office (below)
3. Once Upon a Time (this show is TERRIBLY cheesy, but I love it.)
4. Friends
5. Seinfeld (AKA: Our older and less attractive Friends)
6. Downton Abbey (two below)
7. Project Runway (right)
8. Arrested Development (below right)
9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
10. Xena Warrior Princess
11. My So-Called Life
12. X-Files
13. The Simpsons
14. Batman the Animated Series
15. The IT Crowd
16. Batman (yes, the one from the 60's)
17. King of the Hill
18. Malcolm in the Middle
19. Andy Milonakis
20. X-Men

Quasi Honorable Mentions:
Futurama
Frasier
Lost (Didn't watch the last seasons)
24 (Didn't watch the last seasons)
Smallville (Didn't watch the last seasons)
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
Bob Newhart
The Dick Van Dyke Show
Taxi
Sweet 16
Cake Shows
Bride Shows
HGTV in general

Sometimes I Watch:
Glee (but it's despicable)

Shows I Loved as a Kid: (Warning, look away if you're concerned about my age)
Rainbow Bright
GI Joe
Land of the Lost
Voltron
Full House

Show that can Kiss My #%@:
American Idol

And I'll add that I always preferred Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood over Sesame St. What's weird is that I liked Mr. Rogers' better because of the puppet part... meanwhile ALL of Sesame St. was puppets....... spooky.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Jack Reaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Jack Reacher is quite possibly the most boring movie I have ever had the pleasure to sit through... recently. Not only is it that, but it is also predictable, lame, and poorly... everythinged.

The cinematography was over-the-top pretentious, the writing was dull and affected, the characters were uninteresting, the plot was lame and the story was slow.

The script seemed like it was written by a five-year-old, no offense to five-year-olds. The action scenes were pointless and should have been avoided if Jack were really as smart as the writers wanted him to be.

Jack was supposed to be this kind of vigilante, who appears when needed, but he came across more like Mary Poppins.

My husband and I were trying to decide if it was better or worse than Salt. So I'll say this for Jack Reacher, it wasn't AS proud about it's "surprises" as Salt was. It didn't hit you over the head and scream, "Betcha didn't see that coming! Aren't we horribly clever and aren't you terrible stupid?!" Well, it did a little bit.

I'll also say that at least it didn't try to be funny or cute like Mission Impossible II and III. It had bad one-liners but he never said anything about Humpty Dumpty. It tried to be a bit clever with dialog at times, and these times were painful to sit through, but at least I got to feel a sense of superiority. And that's always nice.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Do You Hear the People Sing?


And now a guest post written by my sister, "Pnutdolly." Who has her Masters in music/vocal performance. Thanks, "Pnutty!"

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Since we all know by now that Boon’s favorite musical is Les Mis, how about another Les Mis post?  I’m writing this not as a music theorist, or a musicologist, but as a vocal performer. Let’s take a look at the vocal performances in Les Misérables (2012), shall we? We shall!

I just have to say how refreshing it was that they didn’t perform this musical the exact same way we’ve all been hearing it performed for years. Is Fantine emotionally strong enough to sing her “aria” in full voice? No. Bravo! (I’d use the correct brava in this case but don’t want to sound too pretentious.) Nobody cares that parts traditionally sung are spoken or even sprechstimme. Nobody cares that Hathaway isn’t singing fortissimo at measure 52 of I Dreamed a Dream, as written. The marking that really matters is appassionato “with passion”. Even in the glorious, exalted world of opera performance you can occasionally hear technique sacrificed for passion. If you’re so angry you want to kill that guy for arresting your husband, you go right ahead and yell that note instead of sing it. Singing is communication. Without the emotion, drama and story it’s just another boring performance, of strong singers, singing it like the last performance we saw, and the almost 200,000 ways you can watch it sung on Youtube.

Now, I had no problem whatsoever with the singers. Even Amanda Seyfried (who should have been replaced) didn’t bug me that much. However, here are a couple things they could improve on. When Hugh Jackman is singing, especially at the top of his range, he needs to drop his tongue. He has it raised up against his hard palate. This restricted his resonance and air flow when he needed it most. Next, Russell Crowe. He could have used more resonance. He needed to bring his voice out from the back of his throat and to the front, top of his forehead. This is hard to describe without gestures. And now, Amanda Seyfried. It sounded more like a warble than a clear vibrato. The difference being control. She sounded unsure and nervous. If you can convince me her character was unsure and nervous then we have no problem. OK I could see that. But, when making acting/singing decisions, you need to make a strong decision, not a weak one.

I’d like to close by saying that to assume actors that are not singers should have been able to pick up correct vocal technique, in a year or less, is ridiculous and a bit insulting. Let’s cut them some slack and enjoy the movie!

http://pnutdolly.blogspot.com/

Bravo-good masc.
Brava-good fem.
Sprechstimme-singing voice
Fortissimo-very strong
hard palate 
vibrato- a slightly tremulous effect imparted to vocal tone for added warmth and expressiveness by slight and rapid variations in pitch.