Wednesday, December 5, 2012

The Top Worst Animated Disney Characters

Disclaimer: I'm not counting straight-to-video movie characters. That would take forever.

10. Nakoma (left) from Pocahontas. Tattle-tale, and over-all lame-o. Side note, did you know that David Ogden Stiers played both Governor Ratcliffe AND his man servant Wiggins? Also, as I've mentioned in a recent post, Christian Bale played the small role of Thomas, and is arguably now a bigger star than the lead male, Mel Gibson, who played John Smith. I know you should know all this, but considering the movie came out so long ago, I'm thinking you might not depending on who you are. You might be one of those people who don't know Heath Ledger and Joseph Levitt Gordon as the kids from 10 Things I Hate About You.

9. Pinocchio from Pinocchio. Don't'cha just wanna grab him and shake him and scream, "Stop being disobedient, you little punk!" I do.

8. Ariel from The Little Mermaid. Whine, whine, whine, bad choice, bad choice, bad choice. Is it horrible of me to say I like her better when she can't talk/whine?

7. Snow White from Snow White. To her shrill voice to her disgusting goody-goodyness... there's just hardly anything about this woman that's not annoying.

6. Dr. Finkelstein (right) from The Nightmare Before Christmas. Creepy d-bag!

5. Pain and Panic (left) from Hercules. Sometimes comic relief goes bad, and sometimes it goes horribly bad. Hades's henchmen are among the most awful.

4. Zazu from The Lion King. Oh man, Zazu. Just shut up already!

3. Ray from The Princess and the Frog. I don't remember what it was about this firefly that I hated so much, but I do remember that I hated him.

2. Hugo (right) from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Perhaps Imagineers felt that in order to happy-up the Gothic Victor Hugo novel they had to add obnoxious comic relief on top of comic relief, (we could have been just as happy with only the other two gargoyles to amuse us, or get rid of them too and leave us to Phoebus who is a lot funnier in this movie than he was in the book.) But for whatever reason, Seinfeld's Jason Alexander voiced the most obnoxious Disney animated character. Even his song was obnoxious.

And have I already gone off about the missed opportunity? Disney named two of the gargoyles after the author of the novel, Victor Hugo. However, Victor Hugo's middle name was Marie. They could have easily named the lady gargoyle Marie, instead, they named her Laverne. Whatever.

FYI, and this is completely off the topic, but did you catch that Hugo is a homosexual? He is in love with a goat named Djali. And Djali is a dude. Esmeralda even refers to Djali as "he" in the movie; Djali's maleness is not just something you'd pick up on only if you read the book. I guess it's not that surprising; Hugo also cross dresses.

1. Terk (left) from Tarzan. Tarzan come out during a time when the world reviled Rosie O'Donnell  but guess what? She's obnoxious, and so is Terk. Terk is one manipulative, bratty, little gorilla, and I don't like her one bit.

Now for the characters my friends wanted to add:
Iago from Aladdin
Madam Mim from The Sword and the Stone
Lefou from Beauty and the Beast
JarJar Binks, since Disney now owns Star Wars. He IS often animated so....
Lawrence from The Prince and the Frog.

Thank you friends for your input. Add more in the comments!

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