Saturday, April 26, 2014

Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

For a dude whose name is in the title, the Winter Soldier is hardly on the screen. Just sayin'.

What I like about this movie is Captain America. He's a great guy. Out of all of the super heroes, I'd probably trust him the most. Superman just seems like he'd be mean to me. Batman is scary. Iron Man is vain. The Hulk... do I even have to say why I wouldn't want to be around him?

I also like Black Widow. I also like... well, I like everyone. Even Agent Hill wasn't bugging me with her dull acting.

What I don't like about this movie is that it's boring. Oh my gosh, is it boring. And it's predictable. I'M SORRY if you didn't - spoilers - know that Fury was faking it, or that the dude in charge was totally evil, (that became obvious the second time we see him when he's talking to Captain Rogers. Why? I'm not sure. But it was true, and I knew it.)

The other big shocker was that Mr. Winter was actually Roger's supposedly dead friend, or whom Oncers might know as Jefferson/The Mad Hatter, Bucky. This was not a surprise either; the reason being two fold. 1. I have access to IMDb, (how do you think I also knew he was Jefferson?) 2. He was wearing a mask! Every single time in a movie when someone wears a mask it's for one of two reasons. 1. He's actually a girl. 2. He's someone we have already met. Or, okay, there's another reason but it's rare, it's when the person in the mask is actually yourself, or even more rarely, your twin. For example, someone's chasing someone in a mask and when they catch up to them and peel the mask off it's themself! WHAT! It happened in Once Upon a Time. Then once Lindsey Lohan was fencing someone in a fencing mask who turned out to be her twin. That was The Parent Trap. (I only know because the other day I tried to watch it, got to that part and had to turn it off. I've forced myself to sit through it before, but no more!)

So, in short, I felt like I was watching the first movie again, but in the present day, with present people. I kept thinking, "Come one, stop showing so much action." Maybe you like that sort of thing. I just want my action to be something I haven't seen before. I've watched a lot of Jackie Chan movies, people; I've seen a lot. Maybe they can't come up with anything cool after Bruce Willis threw that car at that helicopter, or when in Austen Power's 3, Tom Cruise flipped over a helicopter and shot the people inside. For whatever reason, people shouldn't be bored during an action film. Am I right?

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