Friday, August 12, 2011


So, you wanna watch a movie with the love of your life but you don't know which movie, or even which genre, to watch?

Here's a good date movie in every genre.

You're welcome.

This one's easy. If you haven't seen Hitchcock's Rebecca, (right,) what better time to view it than on a date? This movie's about a man who's no longer with the love of his life, and his new love is bursting with haunted jealousy. Big romantic points!

Since I hate your average romance movie, I'm going to send you forth with Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back. Leia and Han start to fall in love and it gets pretty steamy. Might want to crack a window. Oooh, and I believe there's mention of a wookie kiss? HOT!

We all know many women date men in hopes they'll change them, so what better movie to watch on a date than Disney's Beauty and the Beast? Belle is technically the only woman who EVER successfully changed her boyfriend. She even got him to stop slurping his cream of wheat.

Piece of cake, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, (left,) for obvious reasons.

Nothing says "romance" like a bunch of hobbits running around. You know you have the extended directors edition of Lord of the Rings sitting on the shelf, shove it in the player and let it go. Then you can tell your mom when she yells at you for getting home after curfew that it's not your fault; you put Lord of the Rings  in at eight pm, but it didn't end until four in the morning.
Remember when the entire world was obsessed with whether or not Scully and Mulder would ever get together?  Pop in X-Files (right,) and remind us all of simpler times.

Really? You're going to watch film noir on a date? Pretentious loser.

Master and Commander: Far Side of the World. This movie is so long and so boring that you just might get a kiss during it... or, if you're unattractive, you might get a real good conversation going.

While the foreign genre borders the pretentious line again, go with Life is Beautiful, (below,) because your date may not be.

The Ringer. When compared with Johnny Noxville's character your date will think you're the greatest man alive.

Gone with the Wind. Don't look at me like that. Do you know a more romantic film? Sure, it's all about war and death but it's either this or Schindler's List, (I'm not sure why. It just is.)

That's it for now. Have a fun time on your date, and don't do anything I wouldn't do.


  1. Ok, this was funny... and I also got some good recommendations. Thanks!

  2. this was amusing, however I'd never pick your western, comedy, fantasy or period pieces. then again, youre married, so this may be my fault.

    love your Beauty and the Beast example!

    I liked empire, even to it was slim on action.

    your foreign & fantasy were clearly based on personal exp, wernt they?