Our contenders are: (Contenders must sing an entire song solo, or in a duet, or with back up singers.)
Snow White from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs: known for "Some Day My Prince will Come"
Cinderella from Cinderella: known for "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes"
Alice from Alice in Wonderland/Wendy Darling from Peter Pan: known for "In a World of My Own"/"Your Mother and Mine"
Peg from Lady and the Tramp: known for "He's a Tramp"
Aurora from The Sleeping Beauty: known for "Once Upon a Dream"
Madam Mim from The Sword and the Stone: known for "Mad Madam Mim"
Shanti from The Jungle Book: known for "My Own Home"
Ariel from The Little Mermaid: known for "Part of Your World"
Ursula from The Little Mermaid: known for "Poor Unfortunate Souls"
Belle from Beauty and the Beast: known for "There's Something Sweet"
Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast: known for "Beauty and the Beast"
Jasmin from Aladdin/Mulan from Mulan: known for "A Whole New World"/"Reflection"
Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas: known for "Sally's Song"
Nala from The Lion King: known for "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?"
Pocahontas from Pocahontas: known for "Just Around the River Bend"
Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame: known for "God Help the Outcasts"
Meg from Hercules: known for "I Won't Say I'm in Love"
Giselle from Enchanted: known for "That's How You Know"
Tiana from The Princess and the Frog: known for "Almost There"
Rapunzel from Tangled: known for "I See the Light"
Mother Gothel from Tangled: known for "Mother Knows Best"
Anna from Frozen: known for "For the First Time in Forever"
Elsa from Frozen: known for "Let it Go"
Our finalists are:
Snow White from Snow White and the
Seven Dwarfs
Cinderella from Cinderella
Peg from Lady and the Tramp
Aurora from The Sleeping Beauty
Girl from The Jungle Book
Ariel from The Little Mermaid
Belle from Beauty and the Beast
Jasmin from Aladdin/Mulan from Mulan
Nala from The Lion King
Pocahontas from Pocahontas
Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Meg from Hercules
Giselle from Enchanted
Tiana from The Princess and the Frog
Rapunzel from Tangled
Anna from Frozen
Elsa from Frozen
Then, since American Idol does it this way, we narrow the choices down to a top 13.
The women who didn't make the top 13 are:
Snow White. Snow White's voice is unique, for sure, but not entirely pleasant to listen to. Come back when you can sing an octave lower.
Giselle from Enchanted. Giselle sings good enough, but not good enough to stay in this competition with the other talent.
Ariel from The Little Mermaid. For a mermaid who's supposed to have, as Prince Eric calls it, "the most beautiful voice," she sure sounds pained when she sings in her upper register.
And the last woman who is going home tonight is... Meg from Hercules. She has an all right voice, I guess, but something about it makes me want to punch her in the face.
America, your top 13 is...
Cinderella from Cinderella
Peg from Lady and the Tramp
Aurora from The Sleeping Beauty
Shanti from The Jungle Book
Belle from Beauty and the Beast
Jasmin from Aladdin/Mulan from Mulan
Nala from The Lion King
Pocahontas from Pocahontas
Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Tiana from The Princess and the Frog
Rapunzel from Tangled
Anna from Frozen
Elsa from Frozen
Voting is open now.
So, that's how we started the movie. I'll say this movie wasn't bad. I thought the dialog was pretty awful, but not noticeably awful where someone off the street who knows nil about dialog would be like, "that was awful." But I, who have studied dialog, noticed. The mediocrity hit me hardest when Max/Electro was on screen. I love Jamie Foxx, but in the first three seconds of being on camera he has to tell us he's a nobody. Come on! Can't we find out another way? People don't usually declare their nobody-status that easily to celebrity strangers. Another review likened him to Jim Carrey's The Riddler in Batman Forever, but in Batman Forever The Riddler didn't have to tell us he was a nobody. That fact was loud and clear. (Is it sad when Batman Forever is showing you up?) It's just not exactly subtle.
And can we trade in Leo DiCaprio Jr. and get James Franco back, please? It's not that Baby Leo sucks, it's just that James Franco was SO MUCH BETTER. (Seriously, why are we doing these movies again? Is it just to replace Kristen Dunst's Mary Jane with Emma Stone's Gwen Stacy?)
For a dude whose name is in the title, the Winter Soldier is hardly on the screen. Just sayin'.
The other big shocker was that Mr. Winter was actually Roger's supposedly dead friend, or whom Oncers might know as Jefferson/The Mad Hatter, Bucky. This was not a surprise either; the reason being two fold. 1. I have access to IMDb, (how do you think I also knew he was Jefferson?) 2. He was wearing a mask! Every single time in a movie when someone wears a mask it's for one of two reasons. 1. He's actually a girl. 2. He's someone we have already met. Or, okay, there's another reason but it's rare, it's when the person in the mask is actually yourself, or even more rarely, your twin. For example, someone's chasing someone in a mask and when they catch up to them and peel the mask off it's themself! WHAT! It happened in Once Upon a Time. Then once Lindsey Lohan was fencing someone in a fencing mask who turned out to be her twin. That was The Parent Trap. (I only know because the other day I tried to watch it, got to that part and had to turn it off. I've forced myself to sit through it before, but no more!)
