Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Now You See Me

Now, I might be crazy, but I like movies when I know who to root for. I couldn't decide whose team I was on! Was I on the side of the "four horseman:" the quartet of magicians following a mysterious someone's wishes in hopes to join a secret society of magicians dating back thousands of years known as "The Eye." (OH BROTHER!) No. They were law breakers. Sure, maybe they were a type of Robin Hood law breakers, but... no. I could not root for them. I didn't care about them!

Maybe I should root for Mark Ruffalo, the cop on their trail. But he's so useless and mean to his French lady counterpart. So... no.

Or maybe I should root for the expert, Morgan Freeman, who excels at exploiting magicians? Eh.

Then, near the end, I start to think, "Okay. We all know one of these guys is the mystery man behind it all, (we know this because if he/she wasn't one of the people we already knew, they wouldn't keep it a mystery. Mysterious person always = someone you already know! [Unless it's someone you already know's mother, like in Friday the 13th.]) and we all know his reason has probably already been said. So... okay, it has to be connected to that story they told earlier, and the dude is probably the dude we least suspect." Then a certain character gets framed for the four horsemen's crimes, and when another pivotal character tells everyone else that he/she wants to be alone with said person... yeah. He/she wants to be alone so that he/she can reveal that they're behind it all, and enact their vengeance upon said character.


We're all supposed to gasp.

THEN, okay, SPOILER ALERT - I'm tired of dancing around pro-nouns - THEN he, the dude behind it all, comes clean to his lady friend and says, "You'll probably turn me in." But she doesn't, and I'm thinking... "UM HELLO! AN INNOCENT MAN IS ROTTING IN PRISON BECAUSE YOU LIKE THIS GUY!"

I like my villains to be evil. This villain's only crime was being really good at his job.

In short, it's a cute idea, but it unfolds like a film student's project: self-proud, predictable, and self-amazed. If the writers could get their arms off of their patted backs and back onto the computer keyboard, maybe they would have seen what I saw... which was one of the first lines of the movie: "The more you look, the less you see." Yes. That. I saw a lot of less.

And now, as promised, my sexism rant:
Within the first 3 seconds of meeting one of two women in the movie, Isla gets her pants ripped off her while on stage so that she is in a sparkly swim-suit, ready for her next trick illusion. Apparently the most important thing I know about Isla, is that she has legs. No one else in the movie gets wet. No one else in the movie has legs.

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