Marie Antoinette

The 2006 movie is now on Netflix. So let's talk.

Around 2006 we saw a rise of period pieces that tried to relate to youth. Euck. The worst parts of A Knight's Tale are the parts where they stab in little modernisms. Otherwise it's a complete delight. Point is, I CAN RELATE TO PEOPLE FROM HUNDREDS OF YEARS AGO WITHOUT MODERN MUSIC! 

But while that was the worst part of A Knight's Tale, and they also do it a little bit, and very sporadically, in Marie Antoinette, it's not the worst part of Marie Antoinette. The worst parts of Marie Antoinette are the slow, boring shots, the COMPLETE lack of story, the lack of drama -- 

Now. There's a LOT of drama in the historical story of Marie Antoinette. It's ALL missing from the movie. Where the heck did it go!?!? 

Instead, the movie chooses to JUST focus on relating us to her. "She's just like me. Ooooh! I like shoes too! Ooooh! I want to eat those macarons! Ooooh! Her dress is so pretty!" But that's not a story. That's a picture book. Give me some crayons and I can color it and that would actually be fun. But this is a movie. I can't color a movie. I CAN watch it and go, "Ooooooh! What a weird life. How sad she must have been at times, and how luxurious, and how unfair the mean mob was to chase her for spending a lot of money while they starved. It wasn't her fault. It was society's!" Which, seemed like what they wanted me to go away saying. But... it's just unfull. It's an unfulfilling movie. 

It's aesthetically pleasing, seeing how beautiful everything in Versailles is. But the script and film itself... boring fluff. But, I kind of feel like that's the point, so... whatever. To sum it all up: Too much fluff, not enough head-chopping.

By the way, Rose Byrne was fantastic.