Murder on the Orient Express

Normally, a movie PACKED with stars makes me trepidatious. BUT, normally, movies directed by Kenneth Branagh, or starring Kenneth Branagh, or movies Kenneth Branagh breathed on, make me want to see them. (Blog spoiler: I did.)

Now... Boonie doesn't get out to the movies all that often anymore. We've discussed this a lot lately. I pretty much only leave my home for super hero movies, comedies, or Star Wars movies. So today I let the comfort of my hearth for a movie unlike my usual genre. And I couldn't have been happier I did!

I haven't read the book. I haven't seen the original. But, I knew a LOT about it going in. I knew who was in it. (Yay! Great cast!) I knew who made it. (See above.) And I knew who the guilty party was. (If you don't know who it is, I won't tell you here, but I imagine you'll think, "OH! Okay. That's what all those things spoof.") Yes, friends. This classic's been around for a while. (Side note... this movie was so good, I'm gonna have to get my hands on everything related.)

Ahem. But can we talk about REMAKES? Oi.

MOST remakes are visionless piles and piles and piles of... some sort of gross substance. They're remaking for the buck-taking. And it sucks. But you can't just... NOT go see the new movie that's remade from that old one you loved so much growing up! And generally... there's something fun or cute about the new one. (Thank you, Luke Evans and Josh Gad for that fabulous rendition of "Gaston." Speaking of Josh Gad... he's TOTALLY IN THIS! Not Luke Evans though. Sorry.)

And while remakes generally should be called "suck-makes," this one should be called "Oh-my-gosh-I-want-to-kiss-this-movie-because-it-is-so-brilliant-and-beautiful."

It starts and I am HOOKED. I have NO IDEA what's going on, but I know it's been 2 minutes and already the big KB (Kenneth Branagh) should be getting more awards for his acting. (Like, it should be raining awards.)

And you know what? I'm done. I've said enough. I don't want to ruin it for you. I just want to express to you how hopeful I am that you see it, so that you can love it and be happy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Side note: I ugly-cried at one point, and then I pretty-cried shortly after.

Double side note: I'm waiting for the sequel: Murder on the Polar Express.

Thor Ragnarok or Ragnanorak or Whatever

THOR and the Weird Title Nobody Knows How to Pronounce Until The First Few Minute of the Movie - Thank You, Surtur.

So, the movie starts with our recently dumped blonde god of thunder in prisoned by Surtur. Never heard of Surtur? Well, he looks like a Balrog, except he doesn't sound too scary, which is probably why Thor had a hard time taking him seriously... despite how absolutely terrifying he looked.

(I mean, seriously. They look exactly the same. Check it out.)

You tell me which is which.

Anyhoo, so the movie continues, awesome fight scenes happen, jokes happen, tragedy happens, etc. Great! Now let's talk about the number one complaint I hear about this movie: humor.

Seriously.

People are complaining that the movie is too funny.

I know guys. I don't get it either.

Let me tell you a little bit about humor. It's everywhere. It's constant. If a movie doesn't include a hefty element of humor, it doesn't seem realistic, or it seems super depressing. The Dark Knight was funny, and all movies should aspire to be like unto The Dark Knight. Nuff said, but I'll continue.

Here's what I look to get out of a night at the movies - enter-freaking-tainment. I started this blog when I first got married and Hub-hubs and I went and saw every non-rated-R movie that came out. Yeppers! Each one! I got sick of seeing movies. No. I got more selective. I started needing certain things from movies and what I didn't need, I didn't want to waste my time with. Two kids later, and I don't see nearly as many movies, but that selectiveness has only increased because if I'm hiring a babysitter that movie better accomplish what I need it to.

So what are my movie-going-needs? Oh wait. I already told you. ENTERTAINMENT. (Only I didn't say freaking... that time.) Make me love the characters, and I will love your movie. Oh hey, know what's an easy way to make me love your characters? Make them funny.

I grew up in a house where our motto was, as my sister termed it, "If you can't say anything funny, don't say anything at all." Humor is necessary to life. Without it... we'd be a horrible and a wretched people. So here's my main point - CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS MOVIE WITHOUT IT? I'm bored just thinking about it... almost as bored as I was watching that last Avengers movie.

It's a good time. Go have fun.