Sunday, October 4, 2015

My beautiful and comprehensive list of Animated Disney Villains' Badness Levels

From least evil, to most evil. (We will include the likes of Pixar.)

I will not be including movies I saw once and hardly remember, but I will mention them without a ranking. But I won't be mentioning, except for the right, movies such as Saludos Amigos, The Three Caballeros, Make Mine Music, or Fun and Fancy Free, Melody Time, and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

NOTE: I will not be ranking ALL the villains in each Disney animated film. Some films, such as Frozen and Pinocchio have a host of villains. We will focus only on the villain whose presented obstacle creates our climax.

Okay, here are all the movies I'm not including. If you take the time to describe for me the villains badness level, I will take the time to include them. They are:




The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
Antagonist: Rattigan
Badness Level: I don't remember this film.

Oliver and Company (1988)
Antagonist: I don't remember.
Badness Level: I don't remember.

Dinosaur (2000)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
I don't remember this movie. Was the villain meteors?

Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
Are you kidding me? I don't REMEMBER this movie!

Treasure Planet (2002)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
Saw it once... way back in 2002.

Home on the Range (2004)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
Never saw this movie.

Chicken Little (2005)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
Never saw this movie.

Meet the Robinsons (2007)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
Don't remember

Winnie the Pooh (2011)
Antagonist:
Badness Level:
I didn't see this.




Now onto the list: (Lowest Badness Level, to Highest)

Finding Nemo (2003)
Antagonist: Darla
Badness Level: Over excitedness
About as evil as Lenny, which is pretty much zero.







Inside Out (2015)
Antagonist: Riley is pretty much her own worst enemy, as is Joy. You could argue that Anger's the antagonist, but nobody would care.
Badness Level: Not very bad at all.















Monsters University (2013)
Antagonist: Dean Hardscrabble
Badness Level: Principal
Probably no more evil than most principals.












Lilo and Stitch (2002)
Antagonist: Captain Gantu
Badness Level: Tool
Apart from telling Stitch Lilo was a snack, he's not that bad.





















Image result for wreck it ralph king candy
Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
Antagonist: Sarah Silverman King Candy
Badness Level: Poor loser
Get a grip, King Candy!


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Bolt (2008)
Antagonist: Greg Germann
Badness Level: Agent
Greg says things like, "Let's put a pin in it." And that's super obnoxious. Mostly he's manipulative and insincere. Agent scum!
















Brother Bear (2003)
Antagonist: Kenai 
Badness Level: Well... he's also the protagonist, so....
This movie is one part Brave and one part Big Hero Six. (Except, it came out first.) But those two movies had villains that weren't their goof-up protagonists. Anyway, Kenai snaps out of it.















Planes: Fire and Rescue (2014)
Antagonist: Cad
Badness Level: Not too bad
Cad's crime was being selfish and stupid.









Cars (2006)
Antagonist: Chick Hicks
Badness Level: Jerk









Ratatouille (2007)
Antagonist: Chef Skinner
Badness Level: Cookery
He was mean, but not "I'm gonna kill you and put you in some ratatouille," mean.





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Toy Story II (1999)
Antagonist: Stinky Pete
Badness Level: Stinky
This guy just wants to be appreciated. I can appreciate that.






Image result for hopper bugs life
A Bug's Life (1998)
Antagonist: Hopper
Badness Level: Lazy
Hopper's a jerk, and he threatens people, including children, (ant children,) but he's a bunch of talk.











Dumbo (1941)
Antagonist: THE WORLD
Badness Level: The world was pretty awful.
I hardly remember this movie. I can't watch it because it's too darn sad. But I watched it plenty as a kid. I just don't recall a lot of specifics.







Toy Story (1995)
Antagonist: Sid
Badness Level: "He kills toys just for fun." Pure childhood evil!
But, I mean, he's a kid... and they were toys.... Pretty much I'm putting him here because I think he'd give Dumbo a hard time, but might not want to put down puppies.... Then again....

Lady and the Tramp (1955)
Antagonist: The Pound
Badness Level: Meh
282px-GO-4The pound generally does a service. It's a hard service, but it's a service. In this case though, they were going to make a huge mistake. But did they know any better? Honestly, I don't remember. I don't think so.

Wall-E (2008)
Antagonist:Go-4
Badness Level: Bored
If I recall, Go-4 just wanted everything to stay the same so it acted like they couldn't return to Earth, even though they could. So bored.

The Adventure's of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
MoustacheAntagonist: Mr. Winkie
Badness Level: Conniving
He sells Mr. Toad a stolen motorcar, and ruins everyone's day.
Antagonist: The Headless Horseman
Badness Level: Meh. Just absolutely terrifying. If he was really a ghost bent on cutting your head off, then we'd up this.
If you read-between-the-lines, which we all do, then you've come to the conclusion that The Headless Horseman is just Brom Bones dressed up to scare Ichabod. He did a great job. But does chasing someone out of town because they're after the girl you dig make you evil? YES! But not as evil as some.




Bambi (1942)
Antagonist: Humans! BLARG!
Badness Level: Average
Hunters!








The Fox and the Hound (1981)
Antagonist: Slade
Badness Level: Hunter
Dude doesn't like Tod. How could you NOT LIKE TOD? What a monster.



The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
Antagonist: Poacher
Badness Level: Poachness
Poachers are no nice.




Pinocchio (1940)
Antagonist: Monstro
Badness Level: 2
Monstro is a giant carnivore who needs to eat to survive. When Pinocchio started a raging fire inside of him, of course he was going to be angry. But we sense a bit of sinister-ism in him anyway. He may not have been as evil as Honest John or Strombolli, but he ATE our heroes; the others didn't do that.





Planes (2013)
Antagonist: Ripslinger
Badness Level: 7
He tries to kill Dusty just to get ahead. Creep.





Toy Story III (2010)
Antagonist: Lotso
Badness Level: Cuddlishingly deceptive!
He likes things a certain way.













The Aristocats (1970)
Antagonist: Edgar the Butler
Badness Level: hates cats
My cousin kindly reminded me what Edgar here was all about. Edgar was jealous the CATS were going to inherit a fortune from his employers. Granted, this is ridiculous, he tries to do away with the little kitties. Not cool, Ed!








The Rescuers (1977)
Antagonist: Madame Medusa
Badness Level:
Medussa is greedy. She wants a big ruby. Who can blame her? But she's so mean to poor little Penny! It's true, she tries to kill Bernard and Bianca... but they're MICE.



Cinderella (1950)
Antagonist: Lady Tremaine
Badness Level:
Lady Tremain, or The Evil Stepmother, never killed anyone. She was evil, but not, "I'm going to kill you" evil.





One Hundred and One Dalmations (1961)
Antagonist: Cruella De Vil
Badness Level:
Really the only reason we hate Cruella is because her victims were cute and cuddly. If she wanted to make coats out of snakes no one would have cared... except Steve Erwin. RIP.
















Fantasia 2000 (1999)
Antagonist: The Firebird
Badness Level: Stravinsky
As super cool as The Firebird is, it's pretty much just nature. Does nature have a badness level? How could it? But does nature have a BA level? Oh yeah. And we're assuming The Firebird here takes out quite a bit of Bambis.








Big Hero Six (2014)
Antagonist: Robert Callahan
Badness Level: Teacher
When your would-be teacher betrays you then tries to kill you to bring back his daughter you kind of have to say, "Stop it!" But then you say, "Awww. That sucks. I'm sorry."




Tarzan (1999)
Antagonist: Clayton
Badness Level: Hunter/Poacher
He wants money for the capture of a bunch of gorillas. But he doesn't set out to kill anyone... he just tries to kill Tarzan when he fights him.



The Sword in the Stone (1963)
Antagonist: Madam Mim
Badness Level: Crazy
Woman is wack. And while she isn't the climax's villain, we're just going to have to get over it, 'cause everyone else in the movie isn't THAT bad.
























The Jungle Book (1967)
Antagonist: Sher Khan
Badness Level: Tiger
He hates humans and fire. Maybe he saw Bambi. 










Up (2009)
Antagonist: Charles F. Muntz
Badness Level: I remember thinking he was pure evil, but I can't remember why. But I think I still put him where he belongs.




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Beauty and the Beast (1991)
Antagonist: Gaston
Badness Level: Lust, D-baggery
Gaston just wasn't right for Belle, but he doesn't take rejection well. He pretty much killed The Beast, but... he was a beast! Is he more evil than a hunter? I say his biggest crime was what he did to pour Maurice.


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Cars II (2011)
Antagonist: Miles Axlerod
Badness Level: Greedy
In an amazingly convoluted story line, Miles here tries to become rich and powerful by owning a large amount of the world's oil, then making anything better look bad. Good plan, Miles. Good, weak plan.


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Pocahontas (1995)
Antagonist: Governor Ratcliffe
Badness Level: Greedy and stupid.
He tried to wipe out the Natives because he was scared of them.





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Tangled (2010)
Antagonist: Mother Gothel
Badness Level: Manipulative kidnapper
She's no nice.








Snow White and the Seven Dwarf's (1937)
Antagonist: The Evil Queen
Badness Level: Queen
Evil, but did she kill anyone? Nope. Did she try to kill someone? Yeah, but just one person. She didn't rage war against anyone, so....










The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Antagonist: Yzma
Badness Level: Awesome
Yzma's dream is to kill her boss.... Is she more evil than the Evil Queen? I'm not sure, but I think she'd make a worse monarch. "It's no concern of mine whether your family has.... What was it?" "Food."





Frozen (2013)
Antagonist: Hans The Deceiver
Badness Level: PURE EVIL
Unforgivable! "He lied to us through song!"





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Peter Pan (1953)
Antagonist: Captain Hook
Badness Level: Well....
Let's think about this. Peter Pan cuts off Hook's hand and forever more, because of this, Hook must watch over his shoulder for the crocodile who threatens his life. Otherwise, Hook might not be more evil than you're swashbuckling friend, Jack. Although, he does threaten little children....


Image result for prince john robin hoodRobin Hood (1973)
Antagonist: Prince John
Badness Level: Jealousy
One of my favorite villains, is Prince John here, mostly because of Peter Ustinov's acting. Mostly he was conniving and bad at his job. But, yes, he did want to kill Robin Hood, and he did tax people like cray-cray.
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The Incredibles (2003)
Antagonist: Syndrome
Badness Level: Motivated
Another lesson in not upsetting kids who look up to you.

Brave (2012)
Antagonist: Mor'du
Badness Level: Bear
He was pretty wicked even before he turned into a demon bear. He wanted power and raged war against his brothers. Unlike Scar, he welcomed the relief of death from the hell he created for himself.

Image result for scar disneyThe Lion King(1994)
Antagonist: Scar
Badness Level: Claudius
Scar is one of these "I want to rule" villains. They pop up a lot. But he was so evil his own turned against him. That's just sad.

Image result for frolloThe Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
Antagonist: Judge Frollo
Badness Level: Sick
This guy was so evil that Disney had to change him from a Priest (in the novel) to a Judge.

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Aladdin (1992)
Antagonist: Jafar
Badness Level: Mighty
Jafar was pretty power-hunger. But his death-count didn't come close to The Queen of Heart's. (Neither did Maleficent's, but just think of what she would have done if you didn't invite her to a wedding, let alone a kid's birthday party!)

The Little Mermaid (1989)
Image result for ursulaAntagonist: Ursula
Badness Level: Octopus
Ursula rarely killed people. But I'd call her garden a fate worse than death.
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The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Antagonist: Dr. Facilier
Badness Level: Eep!
He has friends on the other side. That's not good. He gets bonus points for devil worship. (Remember, these points aren't good.)


Image result for queen of heartsAlice in Wonderland (1951)
Antagonist: The Queen of Hearts
Badness Level:
The Queen of Hearts had a reputation for cutting off heads. She was pretty evil.

Monsters, Inc. (2001)
Antagonist: Randall
Badness Level: EVIL!
He tried to torture a two-year old!

Image result for shan-yuMulan (1998)
Antagonist: Shan-Yu
Badness Level: "How many men does it take to deliver a message?"
He tries to take down China. His army kill a "little girl who will be missing her doll."

Sleeping Beauty (1959)
Antagonist: Maleficent
Badness Level:HUGE. Like, DRAGON huge. The self-proclaimed Mistress of All Evil.
Image result for maleficentSo, King and Queen Stefan didn't invite Mal-Mal here to their daughter's party. (Baby parties aren't really that exciting anyway.) And Maleficent is so TO'd she curses the baby. Honestly! Who curses a baby! Then when things aren't going her way, she has the biggest tantrum ever, summons the powers of Hell! and turns into a huge dragon. Didn't her mother ever tell her that turning into a big dragon never solved any problems?

Image result for the horned kingThe Black Cauldron (1985)
Antagonist: The Horned King
Badness Level: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! If Maleficent is the Mistress of All Evil, then this guy is All Evil.
One of the most terrifying villains, this guy's plan was to raise an army of dead-ites. That's never good.

Hercules (1997)
Antagonist: Hades
Badness Level: Ruler over the Underworld Level
Image result for hadesDespite being the Christian version of the devil, Hades isn't often THAT bad of a guy in some Greek myths, and in Xena: Warrior Princess, especially compared to the devil. However, in this movie he's pretty darn evil.

Fantasia (1940)
Antagonist: Chernabog.
Badness Level: Unlimited
Image result for chernabog
In an interview with Walt Disney he stated that Chernabog was "the devil himself." That's a huge badness level.

So that's our list! What says you?

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Iron Man III and Why You May Need an Alarm Clock if You Watch this Before You Have to be Somewhere

Hi.

Okay. You want an apology? Fine. Enjoy it.

When I originally posted about Iron Man III I did not go into detail. I did not inform you that the movie was boring. I did not inform you that really the best part is the end, not the climax, the END. No, not the VERY end, the end where Tony decides to get better and finds a way to remove his shrapnel. I don't know why I like that part so much. Oh, yes I do. He stops becoming a victim. So often in life we have to say, "Enough is enough! I can fix this so I'm going to!" Sometimes we can't, but when you can, gosh darn it, do!

But, yeah, the rest of the movie was a snooze-fest.

Although super Pepper was awesome too.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Aloha

Image result for aloha movieThis movie was written by a film student. At least that's what it felt like. (HUGE DISCLAIMER: I know it wasn't.)

I, like everybody else who saw it, saw it because of the fabulous, FABULOUS, cast. Problem: that was the one and only good thing about this movie.

It had a cute part, or two, but mostly it was boring. It wasn't the type of bad movie that made you want to pull your hair out, scream at the screen, or kill the producers, but it was the type that wasn't great.

This is a big pass. I won't even bore you with a synopsis.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Ginny, Ginny, Ginny


Image result for bonnie wright

In a post I posted here a few years back, I went off about how awkward Ginny Weasley is. What bothers me the most is that it feels like JK Rowling changed her entire character after Book 2. Then the actress who was cast as the shy girl in Book 2, suddenly has to be an entirely different person, and the result is awkward.

However, in my blog I went off about how awkward she looked and even though I didn't write this, I thought, "she's not pretty enough in this movie." And I posted a butt-load of pictures of the actress, Bonnie Wright, looking prettier than she did in the movies.

That was stupid of me. Ginny was never written as a breathtaking beauty. I've only been accustomed to seeing super models in movies, and was thrown when a lead male was attracted to someone who was not a stereotypical drop-dead gorgeous woman, whose only personality was being female.

All that aside, how did Ginny shed her entire personality and trade in for a new one? Honestly. How did she do that?

UPDATE: I just watched Goblet of Fire, and Half-Blood Prince again, paying specific attention to our friend, Bonnie Wright. The problem with Ginny is the follows: awkward writing, (no doubt on purpose,) and, I'm sorry, but Bonnie Wright did not know how to do the role justice. She comes closest in Half-Blood Prince when Ron unwraps dress robes given to him by his mom, thinks they're Ginny's and tries to pass them off to her. Ginny's response, "I'm not wearing that. It's ghastly." Well done Bonnie. But everything else... doesn't fit with how Ginny would have actually delivered these lines.

Bonnie was cast to play a shy Ginny. She excelled at that. But she wasn't ready to portray a more relaxed and comfortable character, or the one Ginny becomes by Half-Blood Prince.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Jurassic World or Chris and his Raptor Friends

When I explain the plot, it sounds ridiculous. It is ridiculous, but gosh-darnit if it doesn't make for a fun movie. The best things about this movie are the actors. I adore all of them. I went to see the movie because of the cast. Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt specifically, and it doesn't hurt that Kitty and David Wallace were in there too. (Oh I'm sorry. Kitty is in Arrested Development, and David Wallace is in The Office. Apparently they got married. Keep up.)
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It wasn't as, I can't believe I'm saying this, much as a "film" as the first Jurassic Park. It didn't have as much subtext or messages about humanity. The lesson we learned was "You can't control dinosaurs." But at the end it turned out that we kind of could.... REALLY the lesson I, personally, learned was that a t-rex will showboat during a movie if you let her, and take over the end, even if she wasn't a big feature throughout most of the movie.

The movie delivered and was EXACTLY what you'd expect, which is great. It's scary, it's fun, it has moments of nonsense, and moments when you scream at the screen, and moments when you're thinking, "Why am I in this theater watching a scary movie? Why do I do this to myself? I must be crazy." But it was enjoyable, well done and extremely entertaining.

Why haven't you seen it yet?Image result for jurassic world