Hercules vs Hercules

I know what you're thinking, how can any man fight himself? Shut up and listen.

Instead of writing about the dullness of the Rock's Hercules, I'm going to ask the age old question...

WHICH HERCULES WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT?

1. Cartooncles


2. Emmetcles



3. Sorbocles


4. Rockles


Ignore the fact that  Rockles has some pretty fierce friends. We're just talking about rounding up all the Herculeses and throwing them into the Colosseum. Who'd come out victorious?

Keep in mind that Rockles is "a mere human," and that Cartooncles kicks butt.

Yeah. I'm going with Cartooncles. This isn't even fun.

Maleficent

Why didn't I hate this movie? I thought I would. It takes something cool and shines a light on it, while it was cool because it didn't have a light on it. Know what I mean?

Anyway, the whole "she's not really the evil one" is so Wicked, that it made me want to compare the two. However, I can't because I haven't actually read the book, seen the play, or given a crap about it. So, we'll just conclude that all movies about a female villain who is actually not the bad guy are meh.